Okay, then.

So apparently there's some sort of word count definition of "real post" versus, I dunno, fake post, almost post, whatever. You, my three readers (I know thats optimistic, but run with me here) are obviously not impressed with my ability to create a working hyperlink. Apparently you've been spoiled by previous photo-laden, humor-steeped, I-can-totally-waste-seven-whole-minutes-reading-this-lengthy-post posts. Fine. Luckily, after having misplaced them for a number of years, I've recently re-discovered photos from my honeymoon! Unlike modern photos, in these photos I actually look young, plus I'm blonde and way thinner than I am now. Even better, in my honeymoon photos, I get to hang out with Brad Pitt!!!
Aren't you all so lucky? How many people bother to take photos on honeymoon?! Mindful of the fact that we were in Vegas, we deliberately took those fabulous, ultra-touristy, off-center photos that are so nice to have on hand when you need to drive away annoying guests. You know the guests I'm taking about. You may even be those guests. Ask yourself: when at a friend's house, do you find yourself criticizing the food/decor/location/layout? Do you snoop in medicine cabinets and then gossip about your friend's prescriptions? Do you find that your visits often end with slide shows of touristy, off-center photos like this:If so, you're probably an annoying guest. Here's my advice: next time, don't add any of the "sugar" your host offers you to any beverages.
Seriously, I've never tried to drive a guest away, because if we never had guests, I'd never feel compelled to vacuum. Or rather, to commission the vacuuming, much like the Navy commissions the building of a ship. I don't actually vacuum, but I do clean the kitchen and bathroom. So guests can rest assured that while they may lose personal possessions to the army of dust-bunnies, they won't contract dysentery. Probably not cholera either. But no promises.
The point is, well, the bad photos are actually the husband's fault. I obviously didn't take the photos that feature me, although I realize that technology allows for that sort of thing, I think we all know that I haven't grasped the mechanics of that process quite yet. Lets face is, technology and I are basically acquaintances. I know technology because he dated a friend of mine, and we sometimes exchange e-mails just for the sake of nostalgia. I know some of you are too young to grasp the concept of nostalgia. Which reminds me, I saw Matt for about ten minutes yesterday, because apparently the wilderness was on his route from Penn State to wherever it is he is now. (Mapquest: Start at Penn State. Turn left. Drive for approximately 2 hours. Visit Skip. Turn left. Drive approximately 2 hours). He apparently remembers what we were all like at 18. (not all of you, of course, all of him and me and the folks we hung out with). Which makes me realize: I don't really remember being 18, not much. But I think I was probably a lot more fun, and I stayed up later. Now that I'm old, I can't hang. So having posted this much, its time to sleep.