How to Trick-or-Treat without loosing your macho rep

Actually I'm pretty sure nobody reading this has a macho rep. Sorry. Anyway, the way to do it is scowl at the treat-giver, and point to the bowl of candy in an authoritative manner. If they don't respond correctly, and especially if they try to give you that "Well aren't you cute?" crap, just grab a heaping handful of candy. Then hand it to your peeps, who are carrying your little pumpkin-shaped bucket, 'cause you're way too cool for that thing. That's right: you look tough even with that little glowstick. You're rocking the Hallowizzle.

That's the Widge method, anyway. Poor kid, its hard to look really hardcore when you're only three feet tall. But trick-or-treat was a huge success, we were out for about 45 minutes, which is how long it took for him to get that glazed-over look. And to all those cynics out there: he really does eat the candy. Not the jolly ranchers and the now-and-laters, but all the chocolate stuff, sweet tarts, even some gummies. Which is most of the candy anyway. As to that stuff he can't eat, well, I carry him to most of the places, and I did carry his bucket around, and I also made the costume, two years in a row, so I'm thinking the kid doesn't begrudge me a jolly rancher.

Also, big props to IHOP. I know some of you have had some bad experiences, but our local IHOP rocks, and the Widge got a free meal for wearing his costume. I'll continue to go there even after the new Denny's gets built.

No photos, because I don't feel like messing with the disc. I do have a cute one of the Widge lining up cars, but he's naked, and this is not a nudist blog. Cute train photos coming soon.

Trick or Treat, and other great scams

Contrary to what the Little Einsteins would have us believe, there is no trick-or-treating at Buckingham Palace, the Palace of Versailles, or Neuschwanstein. Sorry to crush your dreams.

There is, however, in Virginia, and through the magic of CVS I am able to bring you photos of our attendance at the local Halloween parade this past weekend. You'll note that the parade was well attended by such beloved celebrities as Scooby Doo and the Cat in the Hat, who is listed just before the Man with the Yellow Hat in the phone book. And yes: I personally made my costume, husband's, and Widge's. Go Skippy!

The Widge, by the way, was delighted with the whole thing: thrilled that there were so many kids running around carrying pumpkins, and very quick to catch on to the whole trick-or-treat concept. He can rely purely on his good looks, he just had to appear and folks were giving him candy. He didn't bother with the old-fashioned formality of actually saying "trick-or-treat". Actually very few kids were saying it. Apparently thats arcane: everyone knows the drill now, nobody feels the need to go through the ritual aspects.

Also, saw an interesting movie today: the Prestige. I recommend it to those of you who think too much: you know who you are, but as a warning: you need to actually pay attention, and also overlook a fairly glaring breach of actual scientific fact.

And to Mr. Fork: I'm not suggesting Martian robots are evil. I'm saying we could find a way to construe them as evil, thus focusing our stereotyping abilities. Not that there's anything wrong with being a Martian robot.

hey!

go to the Lt's blog. See the photo of the girl in a Hawaiian shirt, holding a Guinness? That's me, on my 19th birthday!

Some Administration

Well every so often I feel compelled to tie up loose ends.

In response to the Lt's suggestion, I've gone through my personal postcard collection to dig out postcards suitable for framing (as previously discussed). So far I have postcards from: Wisconsin, Florida, North Carolina, and West Virginia. Which means I still need 46, from various states to include: Virginia, where I now live, Pennsylvania, where I used to live, and New Mexico, where my brother lives. So, readers, if you'd like to send a postcard, I'd be happy to repay you! E-mail me for address. What I'd like is a card that features the state name on the front, and preferably has some typical item pictured. For example: my Florida postcard (courtesy of the Lt.) says: Greetings from FLORIDA, and has an alligator on it. Also, please note that although the Widge has some very fine cards (from Tennessee and New Mexico, among others), they don't count, because they belong to him, and I'd like this project to be part of my collection. Otherwise when he goes to college, I'd have to take his cards from their lovely frames and give them back.

In other news, the venerable Manganese Fork noted that the quality of posts has gone down. I personally think it fluctuates based on various factors including amount of sleep, and occurrence of humorous incidents. Regarding my one-line note about the Tech game: its not a football blog. And while I am a fan of the Boy, I'm not necessarily a Tech fan, so although I watched their tragic game last night, it wasn't because I cared if they won, it was in hopes of seeing the Boy, preferably on the field. Keep in mind that Tech games are sources of deep conflict for me: while I hope for the team to rise to heights of glory (only surpassed by my beloved Nittany Lions), thus sweeping the Boy into a world of accolades and big, tacky, pimped-out rings, I also know that every single game means I have to go feed, water, and let out that annoying dog, the one who lives at my parents house. This morning, for example, I had to hustle out of bed at 7:30 to dash over and release the hound, so I wouldn't have to clean the floor like last time, then dash back to resume parenting so that husband could get to work on time. Its even more fun when I take the Widge over, because I find myself yelling things like: "just go out! Out! No, not you, you stay in: it's too wet. Not for you: you go out! No, don't let him back in because he didn't even pee! Wait! You can't go out!" and other things that show the high caliber of my fancy degree. Anyway, Mr. Fork: just be delighted that I cheer for you and hope for your success, and even endure the odd colors of your team in your honor. I'm never going to love Tech more than Dear Old State, sorry.

And Matt: its truly sad that this is the premiere knit blog in your world. Go see Mason Dixon Knitting. I also like Knit and Tonic, and although she no longer posts there, Eunny Jang has some stunning knits on her old site. I mean really, amazingly, fantastic for hand-knits.

For those of you who don't care for actually knitting, but appreciate some serious humor, see Threadbared, which also won't be adding new posts, and The Museum of Kitschy Stitches. Certainly they'll change your image of the quiet grandma-crafter.

Speaking of knitting, there hasn't been much lately, because my arm hurts from the typing. Most of you know that I type with only one hand, which, though fast and totally functional for me, doesn't lend itself to good ergonomic practices. The knitting I have done is for gifts and therefore not suitable for posting. But my Newcomer's Club is starting a knitting group, and I'm one of the founding members, and, shockingly, the most experienced knitter, in spite of the fact that most other members are actual grandmothers. The group is called the Knit Wits. I'm sure you'll all have fun with that.

Photo is of last year's knit your bit scarf, with some creative modeling.

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

So, just came back from watching that new Elizabeth movie. It wasn't bad, per se: the costumes were good, but the focus seemed a bit fuzzy. I think if you're doing a movie on the Armada, you should just do that, without all that fancy Walter Raleigh stuff. But here's my real problem, which is preventing me from just plain enjoying the movie: every single Catholic character was presented as devious and manipulative, in varying degrees.

I also like how they managed to drag the Inquisition into it. Hollywood should start paying royalties to the Catholic Church, for all the mileage they're getting out of this. As it turns out, the Inquisition probably wasn't as bad as we think. But just in case, I feel safe in saying, on behalf of Catholics everywhere: to each of you personally hurt by the Inquisition: I'm really sorry. I know that can't repair all those fingers broken by thumb screws, or bring back those relatives who died in the Iron Maiden, (which was not, in fact, used by the Inquisition), but maybe the healing can start here. Seriously folks, its been more than 500 years, can we give it a rest?

Back to Philip II and Co. Its important to understand that all these Catholic characters truly believed that Catholicism was the True Faith, and that God wanted everyone to be Catholic, and so anyone who turned away from Catholicism was turning away from God. Remember, the world was full of plagues and famines and everyone believed that they were directly caused by God's unhappiness. Remember also that England was a Catholic country, before Henry VIII decided he needed a new wife. Elizabeth was the product of that second "marriage," which of course was never recognized by any Catholic as being real, and so Elizabeth was not only illegitimate, she was dragging England back away from the True Faith of God, after her elder, and legitimate, half-sister, Mary,(and hubby, the aforementioned Philip II) had tried so hard to save the poor citizens from what they viewed as certain damnation. The point is, Phillip wasn't a crazy old rosary-clutching, cursing warmonger, he really believed that God allowed him to be king, but expected him to do his part to turn souls back to Him, and there were plenty of Catholics in England writing to him all the time and asking him to please rescue the country from the evil grasp of the Protestants, who had driven them to worship in hiding. See, two sides to every story.

Now, can't we stereotype and demonize some other group? Maybe Martian robots, they seem like a likely target.

By the way, in case you missed it, the moral of today's post was: wikipedia: not just for finding Simpson's info!

can't fall behind!

hey, did you guys know that Dumbledore is gay? After that epilogue, which tied up any true loose ends, I honestly haven't thought much about Harry Potter and company.

Anyway, the Widge got a postcard from New Mexico, so thank you Lt! I think the military should abbreviate that way if you're doing good: if you're mediocre, you'd be Lt, Doe. If you're average, you'd be Lt. Doe. And if you're doing well, you'd be Lt! Doe. Anyway, my new postcard-related goal (actually my only postcard-related goal) is to get a postcard from every state in the Union ("good idea," says husband, "then we can get one from every state in the Confederacy, and we'd have a full set"). Anyway, the cards would have to have the name of the state on the front, and then I'd frame them and put them all up. Of course thing one is to take inventory.

Okay, go listen to music.

updating my update

okay. the Lt.'s blog is getting all fancy, and although I really can't ever keep up with his technical abilities, I do have a big, juicy addition to my blog, to delight your hearts and amaze you all. That's right, Skippy is going seriously high-tech, and stepping boldly into the realm of moving pictures!!!


Um, yeah. I don't know why its sideways either. To be clear: I'm actually in the video (I'm the one with no mustache), so I didn't actually take the footage. And lets be honest: I couldn't shoot actual moving images if my life depended on it. Really, I'm every bit as shocked as you guys that I managed to get the video to appear here. I'm going to change the blog name to: Skippy parodies her own technical failings in a good-natured manner!

Video courtesy of Matt, whom you'll no doubt remember from the fuzzy photos. Thanks Matt, for taking this blog to new highs of ridiculability! (and for giving me the opportunity to invent ridiculability as a word!)

Now, please all proceed to the Lt.'s blog to watch some real video. And better post titles, now that he's actually using titles.

small note

Hey, the Boy is dressing for the Thursday night game against Boston college. Once again, look for #72

So.

Here's the thing: I don't like to string up too many photo-free posts. No offense to those of you who don't do the photos. Your blogs have wonderful content, and that's really the whole point of blogging, right? And honestly, when it comes to quality, my photos are pretty low. They aren't usually even on-topic, although I think that adds to the overall ambiance of the blog. Its just that somehow I feel better about myself as a blogger if I can use lots of links and photos. Well, about the links: I just think links are cool. I'm eventually going to start linking to myself, just for fun. The photos, though: that's what separates a blog from a plain old journal. (in another case of quirky spelling ability, I spelled "ambiance" perfectly, but misspelled "separates". Twice).

I have an added treat for you readers, in fact two, really, because here we have some never-before-seen (by most of us) wedding photos, and the second treat is that I didn't take them (obviously), so you can see an example of somewhat fuzzy photos from someone other than me! (Sorry Matt. Your current photos are lovely. Just look how young the Boy and the Lt. look! Don't they look spiffy, in their little handsome suits?!

Also of note, many of you (okay, just the Boy) will recall me mentioning a song I had in college, called "a little drunk is better than dead," which I lost when my ancient MP3 player decided that death was, in fact, preferable to any other state, drunkenness included. Well, it turns out that Matt got the song from me, and has given it back, and it now lives on my current iPod, thanks to husband's ability top get iTunes running, and anyway, if you want it let me know. Hey, look, in this photo, some sort of blog-glare is creating a little shiny spot, up there near Ox! Maybe its a UFO, or rather a UCO (unidentified church-going object).

Wait a minute, you're thinking. Those photos aren't fuzzy at all! Well, folks, I promised fuzzy photos, and I am a skippy of my word so here:
See, fuzz. Maybe I should change the blog's name to: Skippy posts medium-to-low-quality, unrelated photos!

Anyway, big fun hanging out with the Leap types, thanks to both of them for trekking out into the wilderness. Which was what I really intended to post from the beginning.

Little Trains

So we finally came to the realization that although we don't own a train table or any little trains, he's racked up hours and hours of play with them. We used to go to the library, because at our fabulous library in PA there was a train table in the children's section. So now, we're thinking: train table for Christmas. And there are so many little trains. I like this one. But look, here's a Chinese Dragon. And if you like the Little Engine that Could, well, they have that too. But there's more! Because track configurations are way more advanced than when I was a kid, back when the overpass was the height of toy track engineering. Look at this! There are multi-level tracks!! Of course all the fancy new track pieces certainly make more designs possible. We're very excited about future expansions, faster trains, and exciting destinations and accessories. I imagine that by this time nest year, the entire house will be one giant railway. We'll start charging admission, but you blog-readers will get a discount.

And yes, Curious George also has a toy train.

Secret Option D

well, it did rain, and we drove down to Charlottesville to the Virginia Discovery Museum. We had fun, mostly with the train table, but that's to be expected with a small boy. A very tiring day, a long drive, but the Widge was a sweet angel, and even played nicely with other kids, which makes me proud. We did get photos, so assuming we don't lose this camera, you'll eventually see a few.

Behold the previously mentioned photo.

Dateline, Virginia: no new teeth yet. Lots of chewing, however, stay tuned for updates.

Meanwhile, serious dilemma. Husband has a day off, and we can't decide on an adventure. After all those years of reading Choose your own adventure books, you'd think I'd finally figure out how. We might go downtown (to D.C., I mean, which, far from being technically downtown is at least 50 miles away) to a museum, which means a fun half-hour metro trip, with toddler, stroller, diaper bag, and possible train changing, just for added spice. But then, to what museum?! Natural History, with all the dino bones he recognizes from Curious George's museum trips? American History, with the antique cars and trains? Air and Space, with the rocket ships? The Art Museum, to hunt for fun animal paintings and sculptures? Anyway, other choices include: Luray Caverns (which also has an antique car museum, and lots and lots of slippery steps to carry hefty toddler up and down), or possibly just a hike at the local park, which is certain to offer all the dirt, bugs, leaves and running that a little boy needs. Clearly I'm not a big fan of the metro option. We did that once, and the whole train thing was fun, until Widge realized that just because he wasn't buckled in, didn't mean he could run around. It wouldn't be so bad if we didn't have to ride for so long. You really can't expect a very young boy to sit calmly anywhere for that long, and anyway, traveling with a child is very similar to a massive military troop movement. The fewer rations to be carried, the shorter distance to drag tired troops, and the most expedient methods of transportation are always the best way to go, lest morale begin to sag. The best option, as I see it, would be hiking, but I like to hike anyway, and there are lots of nice, crunchy leaves on the ground. And lots of big, wet thunderstorms in the forecast. We may need a secret option D. Any suggestions?

All Wet

We went swimming today at the nifty indoor pool, which you can see fairly well in the background of this very grainy photo of Husband and Widge:

This brings me to an interesting point. Being mired in the past, I'm very, very new to the world of facebook and my space, a world where people halfway across the planet know as much about your daily life as your family. I'm not sure I fully understand the comfort level these whippersnappers have with all this sharing, and certainly here in blog-land I've deleted and revised posts before publishing, because I don't think the world needs all the details, and also to protect the innocent. So, is it ethical to put up photos without express permission from the relations involved? I have, for example, a sweet photo of Widge splashing with Uncle Lt. Stan. Can I post that, or might the Lt. prefer the option of reviewing it first? The husband, of course, lost most of those rights when we got married. Its in my own best interest not to post anything that reflects poorly on him in general, certainly nothing that could affect his career life, although honestly I can't think of anything that bad anyway. But photos of him parenting in bathing suits, silly hats, etc, I feel the right to use. But to be fair, I'll include the following photo in which I appear in a bathing suit:
Anyway, the pool is great, and the Widge loves to swim. He really just loves water: some days he takes three or four baths, and usually squeezes in a shower or two. He's a very cleanly fellow. He can now count to two, and if given a line of trucks, will happily count them: "one, two, one, two, one, two..."

Also, we're on Tooth Watch now. Any day, a new tooth might spring forth. Stay tuned for exciting details.

Props to George

you all know I like Curious George, but here's one more reason: on today's episode, George and the Man with the Yellow Hat had to go into space to fix a telescope, and in spite of that totally improbable setup, the power wrench, which made noise in the lab, was silent when used on George's space walk.

Insert witty title here

So VTech won, but the Boy didn't actually play. You can, however, see a photo of him all dressed up at Stan's Blog of Western Wonder. You can really only see him in the same sense that you saw Darth Vader (in episodes 4 and 5, I mean), and they are in fact similar, with the extreme height and the helmet, but as far as I can tell, the Boy doesn't kowtow to an evil Emperor, and he's never plotted the destruction of the Jedi, although now that he's in college, it's hard to keep up with the details of his personal life.

In other news, Penn did one of the voices on Handy Manny today. And for those of you brave enough to actually click that last link, you can further terrify yourselves by visiting the homepage of the Higglytown Heros, My Friends Tigger and Pooh, and that creepy Johnny and the Sprites. Just watch their little intros, then imagine watching these shows daily. Imagine the reruns. Imagine the marathons they occasionally show. Now you know why mothers crack up from time to time.

Of interest to you vehicle enthusiasts, we now own the latest issue of Muscle Car Review magazine. Because it was the only thing that could calm the Widge during his Wal-Mart screaming fit. We also now own a shoe-box sized police car, with doors that really open, and lights that flash, and sirens, and fun sounds, like the officer instructing you to "Pull over and stop the vehicle now!" What a fun toy, especially amusing while I'm driving along with the Widge in the backseat, and suddenly I see flashing lights in the rear-view...thanks, Tonka.

No photos, sorry. I still can't find the camera. Honestly I haven't been looking very hard, but I have almost finished Christmas knitting project #1 (well, really its just #1 because it'll be the first one done.) After Christmas I'll try to post some gift-photos, but of course I can't do that now. But to make up for the lack of photos, I've changed the font. I'm so tech-savvy!

Good News!

To all of you who asked for notification of when my brother, The Boy, will dress and travel, here it is: my brother, The Boy, will dress and travel. So on Saturday, please tune in to VTech at Duke, and look for #72. When you see him, yell as loud as you can: "Huzzah!" Maybe he'll hear us, if we all yell in unison from various points around the country.

Also, back from New Jersey. New Jersey sucks, but the Widge was a little angel, so that was helpful, at least. Apologies to anybody who likes New Jersey, in case such a person exists. Honestly I find most of the residents are friendly, the food is good, and liquor stores are easy to find, so most of my issues come from the bad drivers, and the fact that it takes so darned long to get there, and then I spend most of my time in a nursing home.

In knitting news, whats up with those Mason Dixon types? No updates in a while, hoping they're doing something good!

Okay, then.

So apparently there's some sort of word count definition of "real post" versus, I dunno, fake post, almost post, whatever. You, my three readers (I know thats optimistic, but run with me here) are obviously not impressed with my ability to create a working hyperlink. Apparently you've been spoiled by previous photo-laden, humor-steeped, I-can-totally-waste-seven-whole-minutes-reading-this-lengthy-post posts. Fine. Luckily, after having misplaced them for a number of years, I've recently re-discovered photos from my honeymoon! Unlike modern photos, in these photos I actually look young, plus I'm blonde and way thinner than I am now. Even better, in my honeymoon photos, I get to hang out with Brad Pitt!!!
Aren't you all so lucky? How many people bother to take photos on honeymoon?! Mindful of the fact that we were in Vegas, we deliberately took those fabulous, ultra-touristy, off-center photos that are so nice to have on hand when you need to drive away annoying guests. You know the guests I'm taking about. You may even be those guests. Ask yourself: when at a friend's house, do you find yourself criticizing the food/decor/location/layout? Do you snoop in medicine cabinets and then gossip about your friend's prescriptions? Do you find that your visits often end with slide shows of touristy, off-center photos like this:If so, you're probably an annoying guest. Here's my advice: next time, don't add any of the "sugar" your host offers you to any beverages.
Seriously, I've never tried to drive a guest away, because if we never had guests, I'd never feel compelled to vacuum. Or rather, to commission the vacuuming, much like the Navy commissions the building of a ship. I don't actually vacuum, but I do clean the kitchen and bathroom. So guests can rest assured that while they may lose personal possessions to the army of dust-bunnies, they won't contract dysentery. Probably not cholera either. But no promises.
The point is, well, the bad photos are actually the husband's fault. I obviously didn't take the photos that feature me, although I realize that technology allows for that sort of thing, I think we all know that I haven't grasped the mechanics of that process quite yet. Lets face is, technology and I are basically acquaintances. I know technology because he dated a friend of mine, and we sometimes exchange e-mails just for the sake of nostalgia. I know some of you are too young to grasp the concept of nostalgia. Which reminds me, I saw Matt for about ten minutes yesterday, because apparently the wilderness was on his route from Penn State to wherever it is he is now. (Mapquest: Start at Penn State. Turn left. Drive for approximately 2 hours. Visit Skip. Turn left. Drive approximately 2 hours). He apparently remembers what we were all like at 18. (not all of you, of course, all of him and me and the folks we hung out with). Which makes me realize: I don't really remember being 18, not much. But I think I was probably a lot more fun, and I stayed up later. Now that I'm old, I can't hang. So having posted this much, its time to sleep.

Dear PBS

you suck. No George today?! No Clifford??? Just because its Columbus Day (observed) you think our children don't need wholesome entertainment?! And why couldn't we have celebrated Columbus Day on the actual day? Did we need a Monday off instead of a Friday? Why couldn't it be next Monday, much closer to the actual day? I don't have anything against Columbus, and if he needs a Day, thats fine, but couldn't we actually celebrate it on the date designated? We may be stepping on someone else's holiday, after all.

If you do need an excuse to party toward the end of the week (other than the actual occurrence of Columbus Day), you can always hoist one in celebration of Pulaski Day, on Thursday.

Knit your bit!

The wonderful Knit your Bit project is in swing again for the fall/winter. If you knit or crochet, consider this project. Its not as media-friendly as Project Linus or the Red Scarf Project, both of which are excellent charities, but keep in mind, aging vets need love too. Some of these guys fought in WWII to stop Hitler. I think they deserve a nice, hand-made scarf. I'm thinking I'll knit up a Henry from Knitty. Anybody else plan to send a scarf?

What is it with knitters and charity? We all know by know that hand-knitting is not a cheap or efficient way to obtain clothing. The Industrial Revolution kicked knitting from common necessary work to expensive recreational activity. But knitters seem to feel the need to cover the world in costly, time-consuming knitwear. We knit for charity so that even people we'll never meet will get to wear hand-made gear. Is that something in the nature of the knitters themselves, a personality tick that goes hand-in-hand with the yarn-buying urge, or is it the knitting itself, some needle-fumes that induce the urge to give?

Discuss. The fishsticks just finished cooking.