Happy Almost New Year!

Hey a photo! Thanks Lt.!! In this photo you see the remains of the cake I made for Christmas Eve. They were actually several little cakes, shaped like cars and trucks: sorry I didn't get a photo, but I'll be doing those again and so you'll see pics in the future.

Meanwhile, go here. The player identified as Nick Kaminski is actually the Fork. You can see him in the video, if you want. Note his ability (rare among athletes) to construct a coherent sentence. Lets all hope the Hokies win the Orange Bowl, because then all my relations will be happy.

Aside from those important messages, its now time for resolutions, if you're the resolution type. My advice: don't do it. Nobody ever sticks to resolutions: you're just setting yourself up. Instead of getting into some high-pressure resolution, just try to think a happy thought every day. Its more fun than a diet, and if you eventually forget, there isn't any guilt involved. I actually did keep a resolution for a while: five or six years ago I resolved to never again drink green alcoholic beverages. And I didn't, until the Lt. showed up with his green chili wine. So: was I successful because I kept that resolution for the year in which I resolved? Or did the eventual breaking of the resolution negate (or at least mitigate) my temporary success in resolution-keeping? See, resolutions never really go away: if you lose weight this year, next year you'll have to at least maintain your new weight, or suffer the guilt of fattening back up and breaking old resolutions. If you resolve to stop smoking or drinking, or cursing, you can never go back to doing those things, or else you'll have ruined your success. Most New Year's resolutions actually bind you for life: behave forever or suffer guilt. These are the sorts of choices that shouldn't be made while holding champagne and flinging streamers about. So I guess my real New Years message is: don't drink and resolve. Improving yourself and your life is a good idea, but wait until you've sobered up, and that post-holiday-sugar-buzz wears off. Lets face it, we all think more clearly without lampshades on our heads. (for the record, I've never attended a party that involved the wearing of lampshades in any fashion. I've also never attended a toga party. I was invited to one, but I had to go to work that night.)

If you can't help yourself, I've prepared a list of safe, low-pressure resolutions that you can grasp in your holiday frenzy:

1) I resolve to stop cursing one day each month, unless I'm having a really bad day that day.

2) I resolve to eat fewer snacks on Tuesdays in June, except ice cream and chocolate which contain healthful calcium.

3) I I resolve to smile at old ladies in the grocery store unless they're really cranky looking. I at least resolve to not run old ladies over with my shopping cart, unless they're blocking the whole aisle, at which point I'd be doing the other shoppers a service by running the lane-hog over.

4) I resolve to not put a lampshade on my head except at New Year's, unless some other really awesome party comes up, or if Skip is at the party, because she's never been present at a lampshade-wearing event.

5) I resolve to read Skip's blog regularly.

6) I resolve to comment on a blog I like once a month until I forget to comment.

See, nice, safe, fun resolutions.

Happy New Year to all!