holy smokes, its Easter!

Not right this moment. Well, maybe right this moment, if you're reading this on Easter. I'm not writing this on Easter, but pretty close.

Apparently I'm not getting a sappy Easter card from the Lt. Well then. At least I know where I stand. I totally agree with him, there aren't so many funny cards. I think, however, Easter isn't a funny holiday. Not like Christmas, with the fat guy running around with reindeer. All Easter has is a bunny, and he really doesn't have the popularity of Santa. Maybe if he brought something better than jellybeans. Of course I'm not a hue fan of the beans, unlike the Widge, who now shouts "jellyBEAN!" at regular intervals, in a commanding voice. But regardless of your feelings on jellybeans, Santa brings video games, and the bunny just brings beans.

But the real issue here is that Easter has remained a religious holiday, and sadly, most folks don't seem to think religion is funny, which is a shame. I personally think religion is very funny, unless its a religion that involves killing people or animals, thats not funny at all. And while the death of the Saviour isn't a giggly sort of thing, the Resurrection certainly is. I mean, Mary Magdalen mistook the risen Christ for the gardener, after all. That might actually be the strongest evidence of all for that nutty idea that they were married: she didn't even recognize Him. And then He proceeded to wander around chatting with folks, chowing down, taking long walks, and so forth, which is pretty good when you're dead. The whole walking though locked doors was a pretty good party trick too, so good Christ did it twice. If we fast-forward a bit to the Pentecost, we get to the part with the speaking in tongues. Even the phrase is funny. Speaking in tongues and snake handling are probably the funniest religious activities ever. (Fun fact: West Virginia is the only state in which religious snake-handling is legal). The point is, someone probably could make some funny Easter cards (Example: outside of card showing empty tomb. Text: "Know why Christ rose from the dead on Easter?" inside: "to see what the bunny had left him!". Well, maybe not.) Nobody wants to poke fun at religion, is the thing. And there are only so many bunny jokes you can make. So lets see what you can come up with. (how about this: outside of card showing a risen Christ giving a television interview, saying: "Yeah, around this time of year, I'm even more popular than the Beatles!" inside: "have a rockin' Easter. Yeah, yeah, yeah.") Can any of you write any funny Easter card text? I mean, before we go whining about the lousy industry-created cards, we ought to make some effort to understand the difficulties card-writers face. Leave your prototypes in the comments and we'll discuss.