Skippy Knits!

State Postcards

2010-06-01T19:39:00.002-04:00

As requested, I'm posting the list of state postcards. These are the cards I already have:

1) Wisconsin (could use a better one)
2) Hawaii (could use a better one)
3) Arizona (could use a better one)
4) Alabama (could use a better one)
5) New York (could use a better one)
6) South Carolina (could use a better one)
7) Louisana (could use a better one)
8) New Mexico (could use a better one)
9) North Carolina (could use a better one)
10) Virginia (could use a better one)
11) Washington (could use a better one)
12) Ohio (could use a better one)
13) Alaska (could use a better one)
14) Oklahoma (could use a better one)
15) Colorado (could use a better one)
16) Nevada (could use a better one)
17) Utah (could use a better one)
18) West Virginia (could use a better one)
19) Florida
20) California
21) Pennsylvania
22) Texas

All the cards I have are good, but my ideal is this style

Snow!

2009-12-19T08:20:00.010-05:00

Other photos from NC

2009-07-24T20:49:00.009-04:00

Are you tired of old North Carolina photos yet? Here are more!!!at the Hickory regional airport plane museum.this is the Catawba Science Center. Last time we were here, this little outdoor section was closed because the weather was lousy.

On the wall at the Science Center. This quote reminded me of certain brothers of mine.

At the Lazy 5 Ranch. Check out these cool bitty bitty cow!this is how water buffalo handle torrential downpours
at the Spencer yardand thats the end of my North Carolina photos! Now I'll have to get my camera and transfer over county fair photos for you guys!

Discovery Place

2009-07-21T20:16:00.014-04:00

I have all these pictures hanging around my computer, so now you get to see them. first of all, Nick: as it turns out I don't have a video of me in a lion suit jumping through hoops. But I do have a photo:The Widge also jumped through hoops:and was a strongman:

When I was a strongman, my muscles were mightier, but I lifted less:
The Widge apparently met a pirate, which I was unaware of until I saw the photo.
What else went on while I was in line for the tightrope, Mattie? Did you two sign up to sail the seven seas? I notice you were practicing your knot tying fairly seriously:

Anyway, its not too worrisome, because in reality the Widge and I are actual pirates:and the Wide also eats pirates. See the cute little pirate cupcake before:

and after:mmmm, sweet, and yet scurvy-ish! Discovery place gets two big thumbs up for their cool cupcake place. Anyway, the Widge really loved the children's area:

he even put on a little puppet show:The Widge refused to go into the hurricane tube to experience the winds of a category 1 hurricane. Matt mostly looks like he's being beamed up:
and while I'm posting Matt stuff, here he is walking the tightrope:

we rounded out the day with a trip to UNCC, which is a cute little place, for a school that was founded in the 20th century *scoff*note that the Widge is still being a pirate.

Tweetsie

2009-07-13T19:55:00.010-04:00

In an attempt to get back on track, I'll be posting my photos from Tweetsie now.

the Widge was fascinated by all the western theming.He decided to become a cowboy.Look how happy he is to be hanging out with showgirls!

He and Matt panned for gold.
We rode the stage.Met the sheriff.
And the Widge even drove a train.
And then we drove off into the sunset!

As promised

2009-07-04T22:23:00.003-04:00

Skippy walks through the air with the greatest of ease...

Hey, I'm a Divorcee!

2009-07-01T22:35:00.015-04:00

To celebrate, I went to Chuck E. Cheese with the Widge, Matt, and his folks!

The last time I went to North Carolina, I was so sluggish in posting that I think most of you never get to see all my photos. I'm trying to stay ahead of the game this time. So:

three days ago we went back to the Rutherfordton Children's Museum.their supermarket is awesome. And the Widge is a great shopper, too.of course we loved the fire truck.the biggest draw in acting is apparently the ability to switch the house lights offand on repeatedly.
The Widge built a Lego city, which he named after himself.

I'm not sure how well it shows up in this picture, but this time Rutherfordton is only one minute ahead of New York.

the next day, Matt came home early and took us out to hunt for gems!

We had little screens, and a big bucket of dirt, and we screened through the dirt at this sluice for a while.then we went down to the creek to hunt for gems.

After his bath, the Widge proudly showed off his haul.
yesterday we went to the Asheville Botanical Gardens

where we mostly played in the stream

I love the way you can barely see him in some of these photos, he blends in like a happy ittle rabbit.

Zoo

2009-06-28T21:57:00.014-04:00

Went to the North Carolina Zoo, which was great, but huge. We actually did see it all, but we were there from open til close.
look, a bear! This i a Grizzley; they also had bears of the polar and black varieties.

There was a carousel, on which all the animals were endangered. The Widge rode three times!
These eggs were over near the antelopes, rhino, and elephants, none of which, as far as I know, hatch out of eggs. If, however, any of those species were to hatch, I'm guessing the egg would have to be at least this large.
Look, an elephant!They had a really great children's area, including a giant chalkboard wall, a maze, sand areas, this little farm zone, and the ability to build your own shelters, as depicted in the following video:

he was actually singing a beaver song, too: "I'm a beaver, I build my house, my family lives there, and then we swim..."apparently, teams of scientists go around the game preserves in Africa, collaring elephants. The collars transmit signals to a satellite, which sends the signals, for some reason, to France, which sends the signals to this particular zoo. The collars theoretically could transmit for 16 months, but the battery dies after a year. The collar stays on the elephant forever, and I'm wondering if the collared elephants have some special club where they discuss their status as fashion elite elephants. Also, "game preserves" sounds like the sort of jelly you make with the leftovers from the 10-point buck you shot last year.

the scientists fly around in helicopters like this one.

look, a lion!
I'm hoping the squash I planted doesn't grow quite this big, although the Widge would love it.

look, a rhino!

there were also real rhinos, but the Widge didn't seem as interested in them.

we also saw bison, otters, ocelots, bobcats, snakes, lizards, birds, elks, and pretty much everything else on the list of stuff the Tasmanian Devil can eat. But no rabbits.

Magic Kingdom opening

2009-05-25T22:30:00.002-04:00

for those who missed it. Turn on your speakers, there is sound.

Fauquier's 250

2009-05-14T19:48:00.007-04:00

Fauquier county's birthday is apparently the day before Widgie's! They had a big, huge parade, complete with the usual array of Confederate soldiers and ladies. Its become so common to see Conferederate officers in town that I didn't even bother taking pictures. The Widge now believes that Confederate uniforms, as well as Revolutionary garb, are just varieties of regular clothing. "See the man in the funny clothes?" I'll say, gesturing to a Jeb Stuart reenactor. "Where?" he'll say, scanning the crowd.

We did, however, have the treat of a private concert fro a local piper: he had just taken his bagpipes back into the Scoti, when we tapped on the door to ask if we could see them. He showed them off, played the obligatoy "Scotland the brave" and posed for a photo.
my favorite car from the parade!! I've seen this one in paradea before. Some of the old cars I see cruising around the county on a regular basis, not this one so much.Foxhunting is still alive and well here. The members of the hunt club came with their hounds. These are leashless hounds! Our hound was never so well behaved.
Our favorite winery, Pearmund, had a float!We also got to experience history hands-on by washing socks using a genuine washboard! It helped that the socks were already clean.

Easter!

2009-05-13T19:36:00.006-04:00

you'll note that this year egg-dying did not occur in the bathtub. I stand by that decision, however: for a baby, bathtub egg-dying allows greater freedom of mess-making, and for a mom, it meant that I could clean the child and the area in one fell swoop.
hey, an Easter basket!
hunting eggs s extremely popular. Last year the Widge continued to request that we re-hide eggs so he could re-hunt them. The fact that there are goodies in the eggs is really secondary to the joy of simply finding hidden eggs.of course this year one of the eggs contained a voucher for Duplos!!! Mr. Matt proceeded to build several cool Dupo items and then go home without leaving any sort of directions.

Luray and the Zoo

2009-05-11T19:36:00.008-04:00

the Widge's first cave visit!!!I don't know if they do it all the time now, but when we were there the tour was self-guided, using a headset. There was an adult tour and a kid's tour: we did the kid's tour, of course!
I love this picture!

Also in March: a trip to the zoo!
the Widge was being a prairie dog
and communed with some bears. Yay, zoo!

Sheep with Stella, plus, bonus lizard

2009-05-08T19:41:00.005-04:00

can you identify this lizard? Its been hanging around our big rock.while she was here, Stella took us to a great little farm to visit the new sheep.

we enjoyed feeding them.
but we liked meeting them up close best of all!yay Ciocci Stella!!!

the last of the North Carolina photos!

2009-05-07T20:43:00.009-04:00

from Guilford Courthouse, where the reenactment was canceled due to rain.everyone took a turn in the stocks
we visited a captain in his tent, which was fairly nice, as tents go. He and the Widge talked strategy.the poor reenactors were just milling around the museum.

but this is what they might have looked like, if they had actually gotten to fight.

Catawba Science Center

2009-05-03T19:56:00.017-04:00

as promised:
building an igloohey, look! Stan's og has a street named after her!
the stream table, by far the highlight of the Science Center

A big tortoise.it too bad you can't here the sound effects here for the Amazing Mr. Matt Show
Widge discovered that he can levitate his hair. Mr. Matt's hair, sadly, does not levitate.

Science is electrifying!I did actually get to touch a little shark! But that picture is not nearly as identifiable:
and now, a few short films!

this time they are from NC

2009-04-29T20:15:00.009-04:00

from Rutherfordton, the Warrenton of the Carolinas! I love the name, Rutherfordton. If I were going to create a fictional, deep South, Dukes-of-Hazard-style town, I'd call it Rutherfordton. Anyway.

The main benefit of going to Rutherfordton seems to be the fabulous children's museum. We don't have that here (although we have both a quilting and a knitting shop. They only have quilting). We especially loved the fire truck section.
they also had a nice train table, which, unfortunately, was mostly mobbed by annoying field trip kids. I don't recall being nearly as obnoxious on my field trips as the small children of North Carolina were the week that I was in town. And really, with lovely museums like this, there's no reason for such behavior. Look at this fantastic little farm! All these veggies are actualy fitted into the rows using shaped pegs, which the child matches to the correctly shaped hole. This is Agriculture plus Geometry, and the Widge adored it! He was very focused, really a wonderful farmer, carefully planting, "watering", harvesting...these are the memories I cling to when he gets into a destructive mood.

Look! He even got to ayak on "Lake Lure"! This was a great museum, it ranks up with the Richmond one as the best we've yet seen. Thumbs up, Rutherfordton!

This is the one thing that puzzled me, though. Rutherfordton, although just barely to the east of the Appalachians, is apparently three minutes ahead of New York City.

We tried not to stress over it too much: instead we went to McDonald's!

Stay tuned: my next post will feature photos from the Catabwa Science Center, which was so nice, we visited twice!

King's Mountain

2009-04-27T19:52:00.007-04:00

see, yesterday my post was titled "More NC pics" but not one of those photos was taken in North Carolina. Neither were these.
I love the font the parks service uses. It makes all of their informational signs look like pop-art advertisements from the 20s. Its somewhat hard to take them seriously though. I would advise Homeland Security, the FAA, the FBI, the State Department, and the CIA to all chose slighty less fun fonts for their important messages.

the trail was 1.5 miles. It went up, then down, then curved a lot, then it went way up, then sharply down, then up. The Widge walked the entire way, although he did briefly try to argue that he needed to be carried. He got a rest on a bench and some chilled juice instead.

There are so many sticks at battlefields! There are so many rocks and acorns to hit with sticks! History is so cool!

"Check out the stonework on this monument, Ma" (actually he was observing a few bees)

I think this is the exact spot where Ferguson died. He was the only non-American-born fighter in this battle. Apparently the Americans who fought switched sides repeatedly, whenever they ran into a friend or neighbor who was, for the moment, on the opposing team. Luckily the primary method of identifying sides was by looking for the small sprig of pine on the hat, so switching was as easy as removing or adding a bit of pine. If a bit of pine fell on you for whatever reason, you might switch sides without realizing it, or so it would seem.
Here's the Widge in the museum, which was very innovative and gets two thumbs up in spite of the fact that their light-up map wasn't working. See that big tree trunk to the left? Its hollow, like the one on the right, and when you step inside, the tree talks to you, telling you about the battle. They did not, however, sing "The Forest of No Return," from Babes in Toyland (starring Annette Funicello). I managed to contain my disappointment.

more NC photos

2009-04-26T20:14:00.010-04:00

Saw Disney's "Earth" today, which was an excellent show, and blissfully reptile-free, for those of you who care about that sort of thing. Creatures did attack other creatures, but it was bloodless, and not terribly graphic.

I do have a ton more photos from our Carolina trip, so while I'm waiting for the Widge to fall asleep, I'll post our Cowpens pics. (Cowpens is actually in South Carolina, so I feel totally justified saying "Carolina trip" rather than specifically "North Carolia trip". I'm not linguistically lazy, I'm inclusive.)
here's the Widge, literally standing in the footsteps of a Continental soldier. Some how historians have extrapolated not only where the battle lines were, but also exactly where the individual soldiers stood. The cutout of a soldier is apparently of an average height for men at the time.

there were plenty of soldiers to check out.

here's one of the major problems with Revolutionay battlefields. This is a cutout of an artillery piece. You just don't see fields littered with artillery like you do on Civil War fields. In general, there seem to be far fewer artillery pieces in use during the Revolution: we weren't set up to manufacture them, so they pretty much were captured from the Brits. They also seem to have changed hands quite often. The museum at Cowpens has one, as does the museum at Guilford Courthouse, but none in the field. Were Civil War soldiers just less concerned about litter? You can't walk ten feet in the south without tripping over either a leftover artillery piece or a memorial to Our Glorious Dead, Placed Here by the Society of Confederate Widows and Orphans. The DAR really needs to get with it, because as far as memorializing things, the Confederate Widows and Orphans totaly rule.

Anyway.Apparently, compared to the actual Revolution, there are fewer tress nowadays, and our trees are smaller. At Civil War felds, on the other hand, I've heard often that there are more trees nowadays, and the trees are bigger. I think that in the rapid expansion between the Revolution and the Civil War, trees were cut down like crazy, and the after the Civil War (or the War of Northern Agression, for all you Souther readers), there was a surge of interest in finding and protecting battlefields, parks, and nature in general, so we started letting trees grow. At this battlefield in particular, the Parks Service (who are terribly undervalued, diligent, outstanding public servants, and I wish to give a big thumbs up to the entire Department of the Interior) is working hard to re-plant the sort of vegitation that is both native to the area, and was present at the time. I really like the idea of that, I think it helps vsitors to better understand what the battle would have been like. More thumbs up to the parks.here we are with Banastre Tarleton, who, I'm guessing, is not shown at actual size.

see, here's the field piece. I think they call this a grasshopper, because its small and light (note how the Widge, at 3 feet, is taller than the wheel).
Whats interesting is that the Widge is all Patriot, but here he's only pictured with Brits. This is a footsoldier. I think the Widge is sayng "cheese".
and here we are with a giant peach, which has nothing to do with the battlefield, other then we were at the peach on the same day. The Wige could not possibly care less about the peach. I am actually wearing that same shirt today, in case anybody ever wondered about my blogging wardrobe.

there are still roughly a million photos from Carolina, so stay tuned!

Spencer Yard

2009-04-05T20:52:00.010-04:00

in North Carolina
Widge rode the train with Matt's parents.There's Matt in a caboose.
there was also a small car museum that had the good sense to have an old firetruck.

this must be the lowest budget fight simulator ever. If you train on this long enough, you might almost be prepared to pilot some complex machine like a little red wagon.
Widge cons a ride from an unsuspecting but kindhearted fellow.
This is a costume from Leatherheads, because part of t was filmed here.

there were, of course, plenty of trains. Lots and lots of trains. But sadly, no more pictures. I'll post more from our fabulous vacation later!

You want history? We got history

2009-03-01T21:06:00.009-05:00

Here we are at Jamestown! The giant map was actually one of the big highlights for the Widge.

Apparently the settlers at the fort used to bowl

I tried on armor too, but nobody was there to take my photo, thankfully.

We saw the frefighter convention thingie, including this huge monster truck.

This is in Hampton, there was an exhibit on risk. Widgie doesn't seem worried.

WWII gas mask.

my little fire fighter!

This is me on a bed of nails: the Widge is pushing the button to raise the nails.

airplane practice!

Fort Ward

2009-02-15T21:16:00.010-05:00

While many of you were basking in your post-Valentine's weekend, we were already well into our president's day celebrations, beginning with my new favorite president's day tradition: the revolutionary re-enactment a Fort Ward park! You may remember that we went last year (and blogged about it here).
We won the battle this year (I forget who won last year, but really, I know who won the war, which is what counts.)Apparently if you were a musician with the British army, you got an especially flamboyant uniform. This tradition has continued with British musicians down to the present day, as can be seen n the case of Elton John.Not all Hessians are from Hesse, so really, "hessian" is a politically incorrect term. You should probably call them Germanic Mercenaries, but since the actual Germanic Mercinaries didn't speak English, t probably didn't matter. Besides, after totally dropping the ball in Trenton, they're lucky they're still fighting.
There is some aspect of the male genetic code that drives a strong urge to find and wave sticks. Adult men seem to be able to control this and channel it into social acceptable activities like playing baseball, shooting pool, and fishing. Small boys, however, cannot be in contact with a grassy area without feeling the uncontrollable desire to locate a stick to wave. The ideal stick should vaguely resemble both a gun and a sword, it should be hefty enough to bruise the knees of all adults within a four-foot range, and, ideally, be long enough to poke your mother in the eye with. Sadly today there were many small boys about, and the stick pickings were slim.It is not generally known the extent to which yellow caution tape provided necessary crowd-control during the revolution. It was a smoky war (part of the fun of the reenactment is in getting a sense of just how loud and smoky it really was, in addition to actually seeing the occasional misfire, and watching all the jockeying for position that a battle involved), so without caution tape untold multitudes of farmers would accidentally have stumbled into the midst of a skirmish.
I know nothing about revolutionary-era artillery, but these guys sure look like sailors manning a small ship's gun. It must have been heavy, because whenever the highlanders got close, they abandoned this gun and stood safely behind the picnic table, whereas both the Brits and the patriots hauled their large cannon back and forth as their position changed.
And for those of you dying to reenact, but unsure what sde you'd like to join, the bottom line is: the redcoats have fancier hats.

but the patriots get to wear Davy Crockett shirts if they want.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2009-02-14T21:26:00.002-05:00

Hope everyone's day was filled with sweet things!

Quilt!!

2009-02-10T21:32:00.002-05:00

yeah, I'm a lazy blogger. But I do have a quilt to show you!
see, quilty goodness. Actually, in this photo, no real quilting exists. This is just the quilt top, and you can also see batting. Immediately after this photo was snapped I pinned the ayers together (there's a backing too, which you can't see because its underneath the batting), and then the actual quilting began. If you read any quilting magazines you begin to believe that all quilters have piles of quilt tops just hanging around, all non-challant. There seem to be vast numbers of historic quilt tops too, inherited from relatives who would rather die than actually quilt. Apparently if you do choose to quilt and bind an heirloom top, you will gain a functioning bed cover (or wallhanging or whatever you use quilts for) but you'll heavily diminish the monetary value of the quilt, which can be either considerable, or nonexistent. At any rate, it seems like quilters, as a whole, aren't particularly fond of quilting. If they can afford it, it seems like a lot of quilters actually send out their tops to be professionally quilted. I, on the other hand, can't afford that, and I don't have the room to let my quilt tops languish (plus, lets face it, Ma would get a bit cranky if I started leaving unfinished quilt tops lying around. She's tolerated a partially finished one for a while, and I don't want to push things any further.). Initially I was going to machine quilt. I learned to actually quilt on a machine, and its plenty easy, if: 1) your quilt is small, as in placemat sized, 2) you only quilt in straight lines, and 3) you're using thin fabric and thin batting. But this is a pretty good-sized quilt: slightly smaller than twin-size, but absolutely bigger than a breadbasket, so after a few swipes with the machine I got annoyed and am now hand-quilting. It'll take much, much longer, but I'll curse at the Singer corporation less. I'm sure they're greatful. And, as a reward for reading my babble, here's a detail shot:

Richmond

2009-01-28T21:24:00.010-05:00

running the clock in the Children's Museum

we really loved the art section

Nothing spruces up the Poe museum like a cheerful small boy with a monkey

What's a vacation without a stop at a Civil War site?! What sort of Virginans would we be if we didn't regularly pay homage to the War between the States??

The Widge is clearly less than impressed with Mr. Lincoln.

see, again, bombed-out antebellum ironworks + small boy with money = charming little photo

thats an actual half of a firetruck there. Also, that's Matt, for Stella, who never met him, and Stanley, who hasn't seen him in years.

SNOW!!! we got SNOW!!!

Many photos!

2009-01-26T21:16:00.012-05:00

In no particular orderthe Widge drives his tractor on the tractor map at Tractorpalooza

Riding a horse (at Tractorpalooza)

Check out Uncle Nick's hat!

Milking a cow. The sign on the udder says: "squeeze gently. do not pull."

Someone got a shaving kit for Christmas.

a loader!!!!

enclosed cabs are much warmer

at the Amazonia portion of the zoo.

There were lots of old tractors at Tractorpalooza, of course

hey, there's me! At the caboose downtown

a Christmas gift in use.

I can't figure out how to flip videos. sorry!

we like Christmas!

2008-12-25T21:46:00.010-05:00

trains are cool!Uncle Nick's partial sweater!

Zoolights

2008-12-15T21:37:00.004-05:00

We went to the zoolights again this year, and again they were big fun. You'll note I have videos! But first, here's me and the Widge with a panda:

and now, a video of little ants running away from an anteater:

run, little ants! run!

lots of photos

2008-12-08T21:19:00.008-05:00

look, a cool caterpillar train! See, the botanical gardens actually rock!

in keeping with the theme, here we actually pet a caterpillar.
we also built mooses at build-a-bear here we see mooses getting bathed. (different day, as you'll note by the wardrobe change)
this is the line to see Santa at our local mall. in this section, we were inside a snowglobe and it was actually snowing. here's the face we make when mom asks us to stop playing in fake snow for 35 seconds so she can take a train photo. mom is a square.
Santa, on the other hand, is cool.

later (on a whole other day) we went downtown, because Santa arrives on a friday evening evey year. We took part in the living nativity, where clearly the wise men are wondering why they don't get to wear cool Batman hats

and, just for retro appeal, here we are in front of the Scoti's window, all decked for Christmas, and complete with two trains.

Enough photos?

Williamsburg!!

2008-11-17T23:46:00.008-05:00

we went to Williamsburg!!!

Actually, first we went to Yorktown, see:
Yorktown is totally haunted!!! Seriously!!! I got a photo!!!
look at that ghost hovering near the poor Widge! See, this just goes to show you that most ghostly apparitions are the work of poor photography. But I did manage to take reasonable shots too. Here is my artistic composition, called: Small boy in field with cannon:

We did also actually go to Williamsburg, where we spent quite some time doing this:

This one is: Small boy ankle-deep in puddle, With leaves, and History in Background. We also spent a few hours in Norfolk, mostly running around a really big boat.

We like big boats.
All in all, the Williamsburg area gets a big thumbs up. It has many mudpuddles, several cannons, and a few boats. Hooray, history!

In the Aftermath

2008-11-05T20:48:00.002-05:00

okay, now the campaign was over, and McGinty: you're back on the card list.

During the campaign I shilled for my guy, because I believed he would have been the best choice. I still believe that. Its possible that I always will.

But I also believe there's a difference between partisanship and patriotism. Senator McCain himself mentioned that his former rival will now be his president, and thats the reality. We owe it to our country, and to our party, to unite in respect for the office of the president, and to give our new leader the benefit of the doubt.

We Republicans actually have an enormous amount of power. President-Elect Obama can reach out to heal party divisions, and I hope and expect that he will. But unless we, the loosing party, is willing to meet him halfway, nothing will happen. We can be bitter and let our wounded pride fester for four years, or we can take an active role in helping to move the country forward, and participate in what will be, unquestionably, a historic era.

Additionally, we have an enormous advantage over our liberal brethren, who expect this newest of leaders to end the war, fix the financial crisis, reform the tax code, and provide affordable health care to all. The faithful left-wingers have set themselves up for a degree of disappointment, whereas we don't expect much of anything constructive. So we, if we are open enough to allow it, have the capacity to be pleasantly surprised and delighted.

Back to McGinty: you, Stella, are my personal pick for Patriot of the month. Many of the rest of us have it easy, because our party espouses most of our values, and the ones it doesn't aren't a big deal anyway. You, on the other hand, seem to have spent a good deal of time carefully considering your options, so as to give your vote, one of the most precious gifts (along with life and love) that you can grant, to the individual who truly best represented your personal hopes, dreams, and needs. That, folks, is the root of democracy, and the truest expression of what it means to be an American. In this election, plenty of people voted specifically so they could tell their grandkids they voted for the first black president. Plenty voted because they hate the way the country was going and figured someone new had to be better. Others voted for a candidate primarily to keep the opposing party out of the White House. I personally think voting, for whatever reason, is morally superior to not voting. But in the hierarchy of reasoning, a vote for someone you truly believe to espouse your ideals is the greatest vote. Its an enormous statement of trust and faith: "go, take my personal endorsement, wear my colors into battle, champion my cause for me, across the globe." The greatest moment in all of politics is when a voter takes time to carefully look at choices and weigh options, and Stella is my sterling example of this one.

Although to be fair, I am filled with pride, as a political scientist, for all of you blog-readers, for your degree of awareness and activism. You run the gamut, from the one who rabidly espouses conservative causes with a fiery passion,to the one who voted one way but was always very clear-headed about the benefits and positives of the other side, to the one who carefully ran the numbers to choose which candidate, out of two who fell out almost equally in terms of values, he should, stastically, vote for. A shout out to the young, but highly informed, voters of my acquaintance, proving that the right wing is not a party of old, rich, men. And congrats to my varied associates who did vote for the now President-Elect. All around me I see a group of thinking voters, of political activity and awareness, and that, far more than financial bailouts or strong foreign policy, is what ensures the bright future of America.

update

2008-11-04T21:11:00.001-05:00

sorry, McGinty, you may be my favorite in-law, but you will not be on the Christmas card list this year

Hero-Citizens

2008-11-04T20:26:00.007-05:00

Dzia!

Ma!
Matt (lousy photo, but you can still see the voting sticker)

Widgie! (okay, he didn't actually vote, but he did stand patiently in line with me, and he dropped my ballot in the box, so I'm counting him)
and me! (the vote sticker is next to the McCain sticker)

also: McGinty, who doesn't get a photo posted, but gets a shout-out anyway.

send me any other vote photos, folks, and I will continue to post Hero-Citizens!

VOTE!!!!!

2008-11-03T20:25:00.002-05:00

the Widge's Halloween costume. The hat is the best part, for which I take no credit. We bought it on our recent trip to the Renaissance.

but the real message of the day is: go vote!

many of you have already voted. Good for you. The rest of you need to vote: if you do not vote, you're permanently off my Christmas card list. If you do vote for Obama, you're off my list this year (except for you, McGinty: if you vote Obama and New Mexico goes for Obama, you're off my list this year. If New Mexico goes McCain, then you're on the list regardless of your vote).

Also: I've heard (and made a few) complaints about the political ads, the robo-calls, the friendly partisans that phone occasionally to chat you up...the thing is, this is a party, a festival of democracy. Every so often we hold these bloodless mini-revolutions, and we do t with parades and streamers and chats with strangers cross-country. Election day is the greatest party ever thrown, a nation-wide celebration of self-determination. Election day is our actual Independence Day, the re-affirmation that we are the greatest country of all. Enjoy those calls, enjoy the ads, enjoy the festivities of Election Day!

(if you're interested in my personal and professional opinion, I think Obama is probably going to win. I also think it might turn out, in the long run, to be helpful to the GOP: we need to revamp the party, bring in some fresh blood and young ideas. We need some green Republicans, we need social justice, we need compassion for our fellow men. All you greenies and libertarians, stop fooling around with your splinter parties and come to the Party: we need you!)

Anyone who sends me a photo of their "I voted" sticker: I'll post it to my blog with a big shout-out to you hero-citizens. To that end:

Existing Hero-Citizens:
Stan
Nick
Jenn

Woo-hoo to all of you!

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-30T23:35:00.003-04:00

Happy Pumpkin Day to you mad scientists in Blacksburg, and all the bats in the New Mexican belfry, and all my other ghoulish readers, from our happy haunt!

I'm behind in my posting!!!

2008-10-28T00:40:00.010-04:00

Last weekend we went to Roanoke, where there are many trains. This, apparently, is what Roanoke is famous for, to the extent that Roanoke is famous at all. lots and lots of trains. And a very big star.
I'm not entirely sure I understand this. Its a really big star, on top of a hill. At night it lights up. Its multi-colored. Apparently it started out as a Christmas decoration, and is now the symbol of the town (if you ignore trains). In that regard, its a remarkable monument to some serious spin. Ordinarily when you forget to take down Christmas decorations, you get heckled by your neighbors, and yet here, in Roanoke, you can leave your Christmas decor up for 60 years or so! Its not that we're lazy! Its the symbol of Roanoke! Seriously! We're not making that up just because we can't be bothered to take down Christmas decor from 1949!

Anyway, there is also Science in Roanoke.
Uncle Nick likes Science.Miss Jenn likes Science too. Really, she does. Thats not an I-don't-like-Science face. Seriously.

See, she looks a little bit happier with Science in this one. Sorta. Maybe if Uncle Nick hadn't zapped her on the nose, she'd be happier with Science.
The Widge didn't get zapped, and he loves Science. He loves Science so much, that we spent four hours in the Science Museum. We learned important science stuff, like really big tongues are funny.
And also: gee I'd feel much better if this plane had wings.
And: hey, these giant nail tables are cool!

So, in conclusion, if you like trains and science, go to Roanoke, The City That Also Has A Really Big Star.

a scant few photos for now

2008-10-20T23:49:00.004-04:00

I have a million photos (give or take) from our weekend in Roanoke. here are three for now:

Pumpkins off the vine

2008-10-05T20:31:00.009-04:00

How do you judge the sincerity of a pumpkin patch? This one looks fairly sincere to me.

Went to the Temple Hall Farm for their maze (which they cleverly spell MAiZE), and Festival of Fun yesterday, and it was, in fact, fun. We did the maze (if you see the photo on their website, we did the birthday cake section. The part with the words is apparently the night-time maze, although the thought of wandering through a cornfield in the dead of the night, in the middle of nowhere is too much to consider). I don't have any in-maze photos, although we were certainly in long enough to take several. The Widge was a trooper and walked most of it, and even lead the way for a while, although his success rate at picking paths was fairly low.

Instead of maze photos, please enjoy this photo of the Widge with some pigs:They also, as the Widge explained to Uncle Stan today, had goats, cows, turkeys, chickens, horses, and ponies. We especially like the ponies because they're small and fuzzy. We don't quite like them enough to take a free pony ride, though. We did ride the cow train, and there would have been photos, but apparently Dzia was unsuccessful in that attempt, because there are no cow train photos on my memory card. I have a hay ride photo:
yes, the Widge looks bewildered in basically all the photos. It was an exciting day, what with the pigs (who also ran in pig races, which is our favorite type of race. Its clearly far superior to NASCAR in every way), the hay fort:

which you could also go through:
the pumpkin picking (which lead to pumpkin washing today:)
the corn cannon (note to da Boy: can we rig up a pine cone cannon in the yard?), the maze and cow train (maybe its better I don't have photos. A non-professional-photographer-and-therefore-technically-not-qualified-to-comment friend pointed out the horrific blurriness of my photos recently.) and, best of all, the corn box!

yup, its a box filled with corn.
it totally merits three photos.

Also, for general info purposes, check out the Backyardigans. Even if you don't have kids, you'll enjoy the music and quirky plot lines (I'm thinking of you specifically, Stan, and also Matt). Beware, they are Canadian, like Max and Ruby, and are clearly part of a conspiracy for our entire entertainment culture to be fully controlled by Canada (stay tunes, this may eventually develop into a full-fledged conspiracy theory.) Anyway, you can even see them on you tube, if, for some reason, you don't want to be bothered actually watching Nickelodeon. I much prefer them to Yo Gabba Gabba, which I unfortunately saw about 5 minutes of today.

Trees!

2008-10-01T20:09:00.005-04:00

visited the VA arboretum today!
the Widge loved it, because there were rocks to climb and fields to run though. Luckily for him, it wasn't until the end of our visit that I noticed a helpful sign asking visitors to not climb on rock walls, since they are apparently a preferred residential zone for friendly neighborhood copperheads.
Look, there's the Widge with Grandma! Grandma is the real nature fan here. I think nature is just swell, but not so much so that I'd want to actually maintain any of it on an ongoing basis. Grandma, on the other hand, is an aficionado, she maintains all sorts of natural things, like her yard, the houseplants, the dog, the compost heap, etc. The Widgie is deeply grateful to Grandma for having such a nice yard.And I'm sure the rest of you are grateful to Grandma for taking the photo of me!

The Last Last Word

2008-09-30T19:25:00.002-04:00

So Newsweek does a feature, on the very last page, called "The Last Word" in which one of their columnists pontificates about something somewhat relevant, and usually manages to annoy me as well. The worst, by far, is Anna Quindlen. She annoyed me a bit with her suggestion that being a black guy is the same, as far as experience and struggle, as being a POW. (And what, I'd like to know, makes her think she's qualified to discuss either experience?) But now she's really done it, with her diatribe on Palin, and Republican attitudes toward women in general. The section that really gets me is: "Amid the drumbeat of female Amazonian competence occasioned by the Palin nomination ran one deeply discordant assumption, the assumption that women are strong and smart and sure and yet neither sentient nor moral enough to decide what to do if they are pregnant under difficult circumstances. The governor has talked about the choice she and her pregnant teenage daughter have made, but would deny other women the right to make their own choices. She talks about fighting the old boys' network and corrupt politicians, but would turn over the private reproductive decisions of American women to both. This is not choosing life. It is choosing unwarranted intrusion into the family lives of women."

Look, Ms. Quindlen, if a woman is in circumstances so difficult that she cannot afford children, there is one simple act she can avoid, and I can promise no children will result. The sentient and moral thing to do, for women, is make good choices in the first place, or be willing to live with the consequences of their decisions. Aside from that: the government is expected to provide assistance to women and children in difficult circumstances, and honestly, since the government seems fully willing to deal with this sort of thing, I don't see why they can't also speak up to prevent baby-killing.

The big point these liberal pro-death types seem to miss is this one: it is never, never acceptable to kill human beings, regardless of age, for the convenience of an average citizen. Or two or three. Never. Sarah Palin is, in this regard, very clearly a woman of character, who practices what she preaches. Apparently more than 90% of pregnancies of down-syndrome babies are terminated through abortion. But not by Palin, who was willing to accept, greatfully, the hand she was dealt. Whats next? Are we going to develop pre-natal tests for bed-wetters, autism, kids with low IQs, so we can kill them too?

I'm not, in general, in favor of legislating morality. I think Prohibition ranks up there with the Smoot-Hawley Tariff on the list of "stupid acts of legislation." I think we should lower the drinking age to 18, because if you're old enough to vote and select a college major, you're old enough to pay for beer. I'm not even opposed to the concept of legalized marijuana. (a word which I cannot spell, but spellcheck certainly can). And in general I would hope the the government wouldn't need to speak o the subject of abortion. Abortion is evil and wrong, and when its undertaken because it sure would be inconvenient to raise a child with Down Syndrome, or because I'm busy with y career and I don't have time for kids, its even more evil (to the extent that an act can be more evil than random baby-killing).

The point that Ms. Quindlen ad her rabidly pro-choice, old-school feminist buddies miss is this one: Sarah Palin and the rest of us right-wing, pro-life types are actually paying women a greater compliment in our adherence to our anti-abortion stance than the pro-death crowd is. We assume that a woman is capable of planning ahead and making good decisions, so that she doesn't find herself pregnant under "difficult circumstances." We further assume that women are strong and resourceful enough to shoulder the burden of motherhood, regardless of circumstances. Ms. Quindlen and Company, conversely, seem to believe that women are out there engaged in risky behaviors with no thought to potential consequence, and should be allowed to weasel out of any inconvenient pregnancies that arise, because clearly foolish females are too dumb to grasp the cause of pregnancy, and too flighty to handle the demands of unexpected parenthood.

And before anyone raises the issue: yes, cases of pregnancy due to rape r incest are a morally gray area for many, although I personally don't believe that murder is the answer. But what percentage of legal abortions are actually within these categories? This is a mighty thin argument to use to justify the continued availability of legal abortion to clear up any troublesome inconveniences.

The bottom line in this, and any number of other issues, is that the average left-wing type doesn't believe you the citizen, are capable of making choices on your own. They wait the government to be there, like a helicopter parent, ready to save you from the difficulties that might ensue from the poor choices that they assume you'll inevitably make. The right-wing types among us believe that you're an adult (if indeed you are), and you're capable not only of making decisions, but also of dealing with whatever results those decisions lead to. The concept of overturning Row v. Wade is not a government attempt to control your life. Its an attempt to save the lives of unborn future citizens. And more than that, its a clear indicator that you, the adult citizen, don't need external institutions to come fix your problems. You're better than that. You understand cause and effect. We have faith in you, in your abilities, in your choices. And frankly, until we, as a nation, can accept that the average woman is capable of dealing with something as natural and regular as pregnancy, even in difficult times, we will never, never be ready to accept the possibility of a woman being tough enough to handle all the difficulties and inconveniences of running the country.

heritage day again!

2008-09-27T21:28:00.011-04:00

but before that: Stella: you're my very favorite in-law, so here's what I'll do: if NM goes for Obama, then this year's Christmas card goes to Stan only. If the good guys win NM, you're still on my card list.once again it was time for the Fauquier Heritage Day!

The Confederates got to the Widge. He explained to me that "horses are with Gray Ghost." The Gray Ghost, of course, being Warrenton's favorite local, Mosby. He still lives in town, actually:

The Widge enjoyed the day, but then again he likes history, in that it seems to be rife with horses and guns and interesting things to climb on.

And history is, of course, full of opportunities for learning. Look, kids: anachronisms!
Also, heritage day gives us an opportunity to appreciate all the historic stuff thats lying around town anyway, but generally under-appreciated. Like this particular whatever-it-is:Its always there, taking up sidewalk space, hanging out, being all red and mechanical-looking. But on Heritage Day, one feels compelled to actually read the sign affixed to it:

See? NOT ONE THING ever made by man has more moving parts than this thing. No word on things made by woman. The newspaper, by the way, is now the Fauquier Times Democrat, and is presumably printed on something with far fewer moving parts.

How many parts, I wonder, does the next runner-up for more parts have? Does its sign proclaim that is has "more moving parts than ALMOST ANYTHING ever made by man"? Do the sign-printers keep track? If, for example, something made by man recently urned out to have a few more moving parts, would the local newspaper types be notified so that they could change their sign. (If so, I think the new version should read: "It USED TO have more moving parts than ANYTHING ever made by man.")

Actually I could probably devote an entire post to that sign alone. But then I'd never get to this photo:
Yes, those are horses that have been parallel parked outside of Molly's Irish Pub. And clearly, if the Historical Society wants to do something to benefit the town, installing a hitching post is the way to go.

and finally, here's a photo that includes me, for those of you who enjoy that sort of thing:
Don't be fooled by that face the Widge is making. He proudly announces that he's a "publican". He wore his campaign button for the rest of the day.

clearly, fuzzy math

2008-09-26T20:56:00.002-04:00

10 is the correct number of years.

hey, its debate night!

see here, people, regardless of your feelings on the candidates, your concerns about the economy, whatever, I urge you all to go vote in some way. (Shout outs to all my absentee-voting friends!). But please note, if you vote Obama, I will strike you from my Christmas card list.

seriously.

okay, enough quiz

2008-09-20T22:34:00.002-04:00

you're both wrong, but you're both on the right track. Yes, Amendment 22 does state that:

1) no one can serve more than 2 terms, and

2) no one serving more than 2 years of someone else's elected presidency can be elected more than once on their own accord.

so, through a simple arithmetical process, you will easily discover:

2 years as a Veep promoted to Prez + 2 terms as an elected president= 12 years total, the maximum number of total years you could, technically, be president.

points will, however, be awarded to anybody who can pick out the insanely easy movie reference in this post.

Happy Constitution Day!

2008-09-17T21:43:00.002-04:00

Today, apparently is Constitution Day, and if you've never heard of it, thats because its only been celebrated since 2005 (according to this nifty info sheet that Mr. Spud, who apparently never actually works when he goes to work, and in fact doesn't seem to actually be at work much either, brought home for me). The main point is, the Constitution was signed n Philadelphia (at the aptly named Constitutional Convention) on 17 September, 1787.

so: how many of you have actually read the Constitution? Lets see how many of you are as smart as Mr. Spud: What, in years, is the longest possible time one could serve for president these days? Leave your guesses in the comments, and in a day or so I'll tell you all how wrong you are (NO MA! YOU CAN'T ANSWER, YOU KNOW TOO MUCH!)

a new bumper sticker

2008-09-12T21:51:00.003-04:00

yup, the Bush one is gone. Look at that crack on my bumper, yeesh, and i don't even technically own the car yet.

For all of you who are subjected to my regular Disney-related updates: look for the meal times e-mail soon, whenever i actually get myself sufficiently in gear to dig out the paper we scribbled on at lunch the other day. I'm trying to cram an hour of work in every day, but some days I'm just too darned lazy.

Also: I got fingerprinted today! They didn't use any ink at all: they use this little computer device. Now the Fauquier Human Resources has access to my fingerprints, in a digital format that they can most likely apply to all sorts of stuff: t-shirts, commemorative plates, travel mugs, playing cards...

Disney

2008-09-09T19:27:00.000-04:00

here, go visit the Disney site Stan made for us.

two days of adventure!

2008-08-19T21:08:00.008-04:00

so, apparently I'm to bog about boating, so here goes: we went boating. We took a canoe around the lake at Crockett park (I think its lake Germanna but I'm not actually sure at all) for about two hours. The Widge loved it.

Today we went to the Smithsonian Museum of Natual History, or whatever their fancy official title is (I'm actually a card-carrying Smithsonian member, so I don't have to be all formal and official). We got to ride the metro (with our new favorite, Orange Bear, courtesy of Beloved Venerable Uncle Nick. On the way home, it was Orange Bear, Cuddlesaurus, Dinosaur, and "Bat" who is also a dinosaur)

The Widge loves Natural History! But honestly, who doesn't love the opportunity to squint into the yawning jaws of a crocodile?! (this was actually a severed and clear-coated crocodile head. The Widge marched right up with his magnifying glass, peered closely at the teeth, and said: "hmmm...")We saw dinos, bugs (Widge held a fat green caterpillar), skeletons of all sorts of things, the super-cool new mammal hall, but not the giant squid. The giant squid wasn't receiving callers today. I think he's on holiday or something. He'll be back (and better than ever) on 27 September. Mark your calendars, go ahead, I'll wait.

Also today, the Widge rode his first carousel!
This is the Carousel on the Mall, which is a little carousel, but cool enough to give "Carousel on the Mall" stickers to all their young riders. No sticker for me. I must not have been enthusiastic enough.
Or maybe the fact that I didn't actually sit on one of the little horses counted against me. Whatever.

Sorry for the general lack of history museum photos. Its too exciting to be pausing for photos. The world of history is a fast-paced, adrenaline fueled roller-coaster, or at least it is when you're 2.

In other news, I recently got an e-mail from the Disney company (in response to a request I'd made), to the effect that they have no plans to release either "Fly with Von Drake" or "Scrooge McDuck and Money" on DVD any time soon. This is a travesty. Stop what you're doing now and send them an e-mail about it. I'll wait.

Are you back? that was actually the end of my post!

Flying Circus

2008-08-17T20:48:00.010-04:00

we went to the flying circus! It was awesome! you should all go!

check out my video! I actually took this myself, theres even sound! This is to make up for the fact that my little camera is too weak to take any really good photos of the stunts.
it was balloon weekend, so they inflated the Remax balloon right in the middle of the airshow, just to demonstrate how they do it. Naturally I was too busy watching to take photos of anything really interesting.

we met the Baron. His mustache is very decorative, and his good jokes totally made up for his bad accent.

we got to actually see the planes up close, peek in the cockpit, check the flaps and all, which is way more than you get at the Smithsonian.
the planes were very cool.

the stunts were extremely cool. there were rolls and dives and crazy maneuvers of all varieties.

the Widge loved it (he actually insisted on getting in this plane: "Widge sit there!" he demanded, so the pilot hoisted him in, and he proceeded to "fly".

it was hot, but totally worth it.

Darned Hobby.

2008-08-11T22:20:00.002-04:00

so, every so often you are forcibly reminded that this is, in fact, a knitting blog. See, i made this sock. Can you see all the crazy cables? Yup, I cabled without a cable needle, using size 00 double-points. This is Eunny Jang's fabulous bayrische socke, using Louet Gems, and it looks great, and took forever.
and, it doesn't fit.

The long-awaited fort

2008-08-05T22:01:00.006-04:00

presenting: Fort Spud!
hooray for Fort Spud!
we love it!

in other news, our cute little town does a little outdoor thingie on the first Friday of every month.

we live in such a cute town! Plus, they have old cars here! I love these photo-heavy posts! There's less actual work involved!
(this last one is with a plane and a wing-walker from the Flying Circus. Which we plan to see someday.)

Sadly, at the moment, Widgie has a cold. This has not, however, stopped the plans to continue kicking Fort Spud up a notch or two. If there were a show called "Pimp my Fort", we would totally be the stars. Stay tuned for updates!

We love Children's Museums

2008-08-01T23:19:00.008-04:00

and honestly, who doesn't? This week it was the outstanding Children's Museum of Richmond, which I highly recommend to any of you who can con some unwitting parent into lending you their offspring. It is, in fact, a museum clearly designed for the little boys of the world, in that theres a whole lot of water.
water cascading down ramps and splashing out of fountains
The fountain, actually, is part of a model of the James river, complete with locks and bridges. I personally know nothing about the James (other than that the mouth of the river is at Jamestown, founded 1607, the first permanent colonial settlement, and both the river and the town were names for James I of England, who was also the king of Scotland and son of Mary, Queen of Scots, and I promise you, I didn't wiki this at all. But one of you should, and point out all my errors in your comments. Anyway, none of this helps me with the river's geography), but I seriously doubt there is such a large and impressive fountain located anywhere on the river. Anyway, as if all the indoor moisture wasn't enough, there was also an outdoor river!
which was unfortunately located near a giant sandbox, resulting in a pair of extremely wet, sandy shorts which I suddenly remember are still in the backseat of my car (whoops!)

If water isn't your thing, there are also giant dinosaur eggshells, and who doesn't love those?!
I actually have a photo of my buddy Nat (age 24, at the time) pretending to hatch out of a dino eggshell at the kiddie area of Busch Gardens. The enjoyment of dinosaur eggshells knows no age limits!

we also enjoyed, naturally, the little racecars scattered around for some reason
the lack of steering wheel was somewhat vexing, but the wheels actually turned (you can't really tell in the photo, but the car is up on blocks so it doesn't go anywhere) so our need for functioning wheels was satisfied. But best of all, they have a cave!
it was the most realistic fake cave I've ever seen! there were stalactites and stalagmites and all! There were stuffed animals representing typical cave dwellers! (Apparently raccoons, possums, porcupines, snakes, and rats all live in caves, in addition to the more famous bears, bats, and blind cave fish. I suppose it all makes sense, but I never really considered it before, mostly because when you tour a cave, there isn't generally much wildlife.) The Widge was a fearless spelunker, crawling through tunnels, cuddling the various beasts (making me very grateful that they were just stuffed animals. In real life, I would imagine that you just can't dash up to the average possum and give him a big squeeze), and generally enjoying cave life. If you ask, he will give you a list of animals who live in caves ("Bats! possum, buggies, bats!").

There was also a large treehouse to climb through, a little grocery store so kids could pretend to shop or stock shelves (my kid pretended to eat all the fruit in the produce section), and a crawl-through model of the digestive system, which burped every few moments. Widgie refused to go in, and who can blame him? If there's one thing cartoons have taught us, it is: do not willingly enter any giant mouth. (well that, and the fact that gravity doesn't kick in until you look down, but I assure you, that one doesn't hold true in the real world, much to my dismay). He did, however, urge the system to say "'Scuse!" after every belch.

We did finish primary construction on Fort Spud, but the slide isn't up yet. My understanding is tat we plan to complete it over the weekend, so stay tuned for photos!

a little weekend construction

2008-07-28T21:51:00.004-04:00

we're building a backyard play structure, a sort of tower-fort. And by "we" I mostly mean Spud, but I did swing the hammer a bit. Ma and Nick helped too, but the chief assistant was, of course, the Widge.note his little power drill. You can get these super-realistic toy tools at Toys-R-Us. You can actually even get a toy welding kit, in case your toddler should need to weld some imaginary superstructure for his imaginary oil rig. (By the way, Uncle Stan: the Widge has a toy chain-saw too, and far more realistic than the one I had as a two-year old: it actually has a moving chain. He doesn't know about it yet, we're saving it for some future tree-trimming day, or something to that effect)

which reminds me: whenever I trim trees, I always have to use a saw (in fact for a while I used the miter saw, which you, Forky, know as the "bone saw" because thats exactly what it looks like, but Spud found out I was chopping trees with his saw and put the kibosh on that. Now I have to use an annoying hacksaw on which I swear the blade part is loose, because it buckles in the midst of serious and even moderate limb cutting. Tree limbs, I mean. Anyway, its still better than the hatchet, which is a fun way to get out any aggression you might have, if you're an aggressive sort of person who might otherwise be tempted to bludgeon people, but is otherwise a fairly crude instrument for tree-cutting, and also awfully hard on my wimpy wrists) Why do I never get to use the chainsaw?! I used the electric drill just fine. It was suggested this weekend that I, personally, am the reason we don't own a nail-gun. I choose to revel in my notoriety: I am infamous!

Anyway, I don't have a photo of how the fort looks now, which is a real shame, because all the wood parts are attached, and its now two-toned, in that we got one coat of paint on, barely, and then ran out of that color, so the second coat is partially on in a whole other color. And I had to stop part-way into the second coat to rescue bugs from the sandbox and other standard mom duties. but I'll certainly post pictures when its finished. After the paint, we need to attach the slide, a few side panels, the shade-cloth, a rope ladder, and various other minor but cool accouterments.

Meanwhile, he got a haircut:
he looks like a little shorn sheep! This is what happens when dads are in charge of haircuts.
And speaking of hair: why is mine still so curly?!

Catching up a little

2008-07-25T15:21:00.007-04:00

because life is never dull.

So a few weekends ago was the county fair, little bit cute. The Widge was delighted to meet some animals up close, like the gigantic turkey:
well, he doesn't look delighted, but that is an awfully big turkey. He doesn't look specially tast, but I'm guessing thats because there isn't any cranberry sauce nearby. Anyway, there were also a lot of very small goats. The Widge recently got a story book that claims goats can range from 22-220 pounds. First off, I think this goat is less than 22 pounds. And I think 220 pounds is a whole lot of goat. I hope never to run into that goat.If I were the mean sort, I'd say: in this photo the Widge is standing with goats at the upper and lower ends of that range. Anyway, the goat was a big hit, but fuzzy animals tend to consistently beat out feathery ones.

And to continue our adventures in agriculture, we picked peaches!
I think this is the same shirt I wore apple-picking last year. You'll just have to trust that these are peaches. Lucky for you I don't have any photos from the hours we spent canning the peaches, during which the Widge conveniently napped.

But today we broke from all the farm-related hoopla to go to a state park, which is basically just like a farm, but without the lucrative growing. The Widge was happy, though, because nothing pleases a small boy more than running through the woods.
except cool playgrounds

and the presence of big lakes:

there were lots of boats. I promised Widgie that we'd come ride in one, but there should be two adults: one to keep the boat from tipping, and one to keep the Widge in the boat. Any volunteers for Widge-boat second mate? (Widge obviously being the captain, and I'm the first mate. Your title could be Ship's Pilot, if you prefer)

please also enjoy this photo of a spider web, which, I have been told is "Spider house. Spider live in there."

the plane! the plane!

2008-07-10T22:13:00.008-04:00

Took the Widgie to the Udvar-Hazy center today. We spent most of the day, and what we learned there was: they have planes!lots of planes!

In fact we spent the first half-hour marveling over it: a plane! another plane! two planes! another plane!They even had the Enola Gay, which didn't impress the Widge much, other than it being big and shiny. But I shouldn't have been surprised; the Widge's area of military expertise is, of course, the Civil War. We also got to see the space shuttle (I suppose, more accurately its "a space shuttle") but I don't have any photos of that, because the Widgie was asking questions about the rocket thingies in the photo on this page. (these are preschool-style questions, the question part is inferred. His main question was: "Uh oh! Hole!" which translates into: how come theres such a large opening in a device that's expected to survive the trip into space?). I assured him, repeatedly, that Uncle Stan is an actual rocket scientist, and will someday come along to explain the whole spacecraft business. And let me tell you, if you want to get funny looks in public, repeat this phrase to the nearest two-year-old: "Well, see, Uncle Stan is a genuine rocket scientist, so we'll ask him all about this apparatus later on." Its important to put the emphasis on the rocket scientist part.

By the way, Uncle Stan, you'll be happy to know that as soon as we got his toy plane home, i explained pitch, yaw, and roll.

Anyway, we got to indulge our passion for gears as well, by cranking out a pressed penny from one of those machines you see in all the museums.
I've always wondered about these things. Isn't it illegal to destroy legal tender? Anyway, initially we were most impressed by the gears, but when the penny emerged, he was fascinated. Sadly he was wearing shorts with no pocket, but he did allow me to carry the treasure home in my wallet.

We also went up into the observation tower, where we actually saw a real live plane land, which is much more impressive, apparently, the first time you actually see it. No photos of that either, which is a shame, because I'm sure you'd all be impressed with my daring if you saw how high in the air it was, and how there were windows rather than walls between me and the vast outside world. And then, to round out the day, the Widgie saw his very first IMAX!
It was full of planes! Actually he only saw about half of t, before he fell asleep. He held those eyes open as long as he could, but apparently there is nothing so soothing as the roar of F-16s. (There were also B-2s, F-15 and 18s, Harriers, A-10s, A KC-135, AWACS, a U-2, and so forth). I can personally understand, having grown up around the fabulous aircraft. It was fascinating seeing them fly around on the IMAX: they're so darned maneuverable (not the AWACS, per se, but certainly the fighters). Anyway, every single one of you blog readers would have loved it. The Widge would have loved it even more if he had been awake for the part with the firefighters training for runway fires, and the part where they blew up tanks.

Anyway, I highly recommend plane-spotting, it was a nice way to spend the day, certainly a diversion from the perpetually squeaky dog who persists in living here.

and speaking of dogs and planes, hello to the newest family hound!

America Rocks

2008-07-06T00:23:00.008-04:00

Go visit Forkland for a solid rant. I especially like the part where he referred to the congressmen as chuckleheads. this is what makes America great (the freedoms, such as the freedom to elect chuckleheads and then refer to them as such, not the chuckleheads themselves. Although arguably the ability to be chucklehead is another thing that makes America great. No matter how much of a chucklehead you are, you aren't getting sent to the gulag for it.)

Also, visit Photos from the Wasteland for some nice fireworks. The Widge loves these pictures.

speaking of the Widge, and also the holiday, he was in a parade!see, thats him in the wagon. Its a kids parade, and basically all the kids in the region assemble at 5th street with their decorated bikes and wagons and strollers, and march the five short blocks up to the courthouse. Why bother? Because theres pizza!
I love this photo. And not just because my thumb makes an appearance (and shockingly not in the lens-covering way that it usually shows up). Widge loved the pizza, which was his second favorite part of the day. His favorite, of course, was the fire truck.
Apparently there aren't too many fires in town, because there seems to always be a fire truck parked in the square for local children to investigate. On the other hand there are also at least three fire houses in the town, or at least the greater town area. And its a little town. Anyway, we also got to hang out with bearded guys:
left to right: Beardo, Widge, Bearded Guy #2. Peter the Great, in an effort to modernize Russia, ordered all the noblemen to cut off their beards, or pa a serious beard tax. If he (Peter) saw a bearded nobleman in the street, the Tsar would hack that facial hair right off, on the spot. In America, you're free to have a beard. So much so that every word in the last sentence was linked to a bearded American (for those of you too smart to click each link). That must be a swell level of freedom for folks who are both capable of and interested in growing a beard. For me, personally, nothing special.

In other news: new sandbox! I made a whole new...well I didn't make it. But I painted the brand new...except the parts that I had help with.Whatever, the point is we have a new sandbox, one so big that all the trucks, shove;s, buckets and the Widgie fit inside simultaneously. its hard to tell in this photo because there aren't any trucks. The one problem we had, as the Widge points out, is that we "need more sand!"

hope you all had a freedom-filled fourth, and are enjoying the simple pleasures of summertime!

happy fourth!

2008-07-03T21:47:00.002-04:00

although, honestly, the convention-goers declared independence on July 2nd. The document just didn't get printed up and signed until the 4th. The Revolution, by that time, had been going on for more than a year, which most schoolchildren do not know. If you'd like to learn more, read a book, and try hard to avoid that awful musical (1776), which will just lead you to think poorly of our founding fathers' fashion sense and musical stylings.

if you really want to celebrate America's history, read up on the issues so you'll be ready to vote in November!

Pantless dining

2008-07-01T20:47:00.002-04:00

its all the rage in the finest bistros

odds and ends

2008-06-27T12:47:00.002-04:00

taking a moment to blog from Panera (aka my remote office). Not much blogging lately because: (a) I've actually been working a bit (!) and, (2) I have been involved in a long-term architectural project, related to the Widge. See, For quite some time I've run a sideline business of sand-castle-tower construction, specializing in towers shaped exactly like the buckets we got at Target. My towers have the low levels of structural integrity and surface tension that are prized among young boys and small plastic trucks alike. Recently, however, I have been contracted by a certain porcine client to build a sturdy home out of wooden blocks. I have, over the past week, constructed many elaborate dwellings for Mr. Pig, in a variety of styles: Greek Classic, Georgian (that one featured a cupola!), Italianate Villa, Modernest Egyptian, Cubist, Minimalist, etc. (yeah, I made up at least one of those titles to fit the structure at hand. But most of them are genuine architectural styles). Mr. Pig, however, is a bi partier, and has very destructive tendencies, which leads me to wonder whether the huffing wolf might have been framed. At any rate I can't complain too much, because through Mr. Pig I met Mr. Goat, who is apparently also in the market for a new estate, and just yesterday Mr. Pig had his friend (also Mr. Pig) around for a home tour, which may lead to a future contract. Mr. Pig has also set me up with the Living Room Municipal Works, and I've been constructing shelters for some of their prized trucks, including an ambulance, a combine harvester, and a loader. The trucks, like Mr. Pig, prefer a high-ceilinged, elaborately designed dwelling place, and I can confidently say that mine are the only firehouses that feature Greek columns and soaring arches. They're not especially sturdy structures, but the clients seem delighted, and I keep getting new building assignments ("Mom! Build house!")

Anyway, back to work. Somebody is watching Wall-E. Reviews later.

Zoo!!!

2008-06-19T22:07:00.007-04:00

Trip to the zoo today!
W went to the reptile house, and then somebody got a rubber snake. See how he's sticking his tongue out? (The Widge, not the snake)Although its somewhat hard to tell, this is a bear statue The Widge is explaining that the baby bear rides on the mommy bear's back, and, further, that the baby ear has a nose, which the Widge is helpfully pointing out. Many animals have funny looking noses, but most of them do have identifiable proboscises, unlike ears, which many creatures appear not to have. Locating the nose, therefore, is a fun and not overly stressful occupation Try it at your local zoo.
Bamboo has a funny name, plus we saw some gorillas eating it. To round things out, its growing all around the zoo. Hooray for bamboo!
See, this bear has obvious ears. Bears are great, they actually look very much like your garden variety local hound, in that they have an elongated nose, obvious ears, fur, teeth, and a tail. Having a garden-variety hound around the house to serve as a reference is good preparation for zoo-going, and even at my advanced age I tend to rate animals in their relative level of hound-like-ness The Komodo Dragon, for example, is very houndlike at rest: still, sluggish, droopy. Apparently in a frenzy, however the two are vastly different: the dragon will kill you, whereas the hound will whine repeatedly until you feed it.We did see other animals: birds, small mammals, elephants, etc. If the Fork ever publishes his photo blog, he has photos of us viewing other creatures, as well as, apparently, a photo of me taking the bamboo photo, in case you should want to see such a thing. At any rate, the Widge had such a good time, he actually reached a point where he was no longer capable of viewing animals, and sat calmly in his stroller until he fell asleep. With, you'll note, his beloved rubber snake. The snake later had to sit with him at the dinner table, and was even offered bites of dinner. I'm pleased to report that this specific species seems to enjoy he Hamburger Helper, and so will hopefully not be gobbling birds (we have a yard full of birds, and Grandma would be sad to lose them to a rubber predator).

so apparently, in spite of the total lack of cannon, it was a good day to be a little boy.

Even More Civil War

2008-06-18T21:23:00.007-04:00

yup. We went to the Civil-War era (what other era is there?!?) earthworks fort at Mayfield. Here's a helpful map:
see, that totally clears everything up. Here we clearly see all the important information we'd ever need to know about Mayfield: theres a railroad nearby, and also some wavy lines indicating elevation change. Up? Down? We don't know!! Thumbs up, geographers, for the exceptional clarity of maps in general. (Actually, there is a geographer who tends to read this blog. Like most normal people, I had assumed the last actual geographers were Lewis and Clark, but apparently we still train these people in our universities, in spite of the fact that theres already a map to everywhere worth going. I'm not entirely certain what a modern geographer does, and they don't seem to be either: they can tell you in great detail what they don't do, but I've never once heard a clear description of what the function of a geographer is. Personally I think they should put some time into making mapquest run accurately, rather than directing me to turn the wrong way on one-way streets, or go 10 miles out of my way for no apparent reason. On the other hand, as far as I know there are roughly three geographers left alive in the world: the one I married, the one I'm friends with, and someone to train the other two. This is why I can post such a lengthy musing on them: even if the full force of geographer wrath descends upon me, I'm pretty sure I'll be just fine. What can they do to me anyway? post bad directions on mapquest?).

Mayfield is in Manassas, on a high place overlooking the old town. If you study the map, you'll see that adjoining the Mayfield fort is a place called Hooe, that used to be a plantation belonging to the Hooe family. Here's their cemetery:
Seriously, my new hobby is going to be cemetery photography. There are plenty around, some of the gravestones are quite lovely, its easy to pose the subjects, they don't wiggle during the shot, and they never complain. (How many of you noticed that the Widge wasn't wearing pants in the Gettysburg cemetery?). Anyway, although I have no pictures of the actual earthwork fort, because it was bascally a high, grassy place with a Napoleon gun on it, and honestly, haven't we seen enough cannon lately (I sure have), but I do have a photo of me!
aliens took the photo! Well, actually Mr. Forkman took it, but he told me I didn't have to credit him, I could make up a story if I wanted to.

and after that, we went to old-town Manassas and saw a train!!! TRAIN!!! it had a CABOOSE!!!! Widge got to climb on it!!!!! I cannot stress the excitement of train viewing enough.
Look at the Widge, he looks like he's running for office.

Adventures in American History

2008-06-12T22:02:00.007-04:00

According to the Travel Channel, I've been to four of the top ten creepiest destinations ever: the Mutter Museum in Philly, the Tower of London, Salem Massachusetts, and, key to this post, Gettysburg.

Since we just got back from Gettysburg today, and I saw the creepiest places show just now, I'll include my cemetery photos here.

Now look, I don't want any comments about it being disrespectful for the Widgie to run among the graves. He's 2. Aside from that, don't you think each poor, deceased soldier would have loves to hear a child's happy laugh just once more? Didn't these guys all fight for the sort of freedom that allows us to leave our hometown and travel across state lines to visit historical sites? The point here is, here's this town who's very name is synonymous with death, misery, tragedy, but here's this little boy, just so happy o be alive and running around in the sunshine.

an unknown Zouave from PA. These markers are laid out in semicircles by state, and I was stepping over this one to grab the Widge or check out a monument or something, and I glanced down and saw this, and thought it would be a great photo. I don't usually take photos that don't include people I know.so here's the last one, the Widge enjoying a "boomy gun"

Adventures in American History

2008-06-03T23:27:00.008-04:00

Ordinarily the Manassas battlefield is a place I drive through on my way to Barnes and Noble. But today, like a tourist, I went. (Manassas is the site of the first and second battles of Bull Run, for my fellow northerners. This would be during the Civil War [War Between the States, or even War of Northern Aggression, for my southern friends], not my war of expertise, to the extent that I had to wiki the year of the battle).
Look at that cute stone house in the back of the photo. Its the Stone House! Those crazy southern landowners and their inventive place names!

luckily for us, there was a little reenactment going on.

The Widge and his Uncle/Hero inspected the mighty Bull Run. Clearly this is a Force of Nature, totally worthy of not one, but two battles being named after it.

I'm pretty sure this is how the Union Army forded the mighty rapids in 1861.

Of course the cannons were the highlight. The Widge carefully counted each one: there were ten, because thats how high he can count. All in all it was a great day, and we've planned even more great treks into history, so stay tuned. Meanwhile I bought a comic book about the first battle of Bull Run, so hopefully I'll actually learn something.

Fire Trucks are Cool

2008-05-30T23:29:00.005-04:00

I think he was most impressed by the pole, although apparently firemen don't use the pole much anymore, but also by meeting a real, live fire chief.

thanks, Chief, for letting us check out the cool trucks

so many big trucks!

2008-05-07T21:04:00.008-04:00

it seems that every year Herndon has a truck day, where they open up a section of the public works yard and allow all the kids in the region to come and climb over and into a whole mess of big trucks. Of course the Widge was all about that (not so much climbing in, he wasn't into that). See the happy Widget:

Check out this bird

2008-05-06T00:34:00.004-04:00

it was in our yard yesterday evening (that red bit there is the barn, for those of you who know the yard). Any guesses as to what it is?

in other news, the Widge loves cupcakes ("cake-cup" he says), I had a good photo but I can't find it just now (darn it). Here he is playing on the farm we took him to:feeding sheep

working the pump

and piloting some sort of vehicular device. Lots of fun for a small boy, so much fun that he couldn't be bothered to pause and eat his ice cream!

Happy birthday Widgie!

2008-05-02T21:52:00.010-04:00

somebody is 2!

He got a pillow from Uncle Stan and Ciocci Stella! (thank you! he's cuddling it right now, as he sleeps)

He went to Chuck E. Cheese!

He looked after his finances a little bit.

He made some important calls. So all-in-all, its a busy life when you're 2.

New Shoes!!!!!! (!)

2008-04-29T21:03:00.003-04:00

these are absolutely my dream shoes. I've wanted shoes like this as long as I can recall, and now I have them! Mine, all mine!!! I'm going to wear them absolutely everywhere!!! Well, probably not to the Widge's toddler class, that might be a bit much. As an aside, that green background is actually my bed sheet, what a useful color I picked!

my 100th post,

2008-04-24T21:23:00.005-04:00

or so Blogger tells me. feel free to count them up.

Today the Widge has been angling for car ownership, doing all those responsable things kids do to try and convince mom that they're ready to drive. Things like washing the car:
and doing a little vehicle repair:

sorry, kid, you're still a bit too young.

Hair Bears

2008-04-21T22:25:00.002-04:00

So I've been informed, recently, that my hair, viewed from behind, closely resembles the rear end of a bear. I've never actually studied the back of my head, nor am I especially familiar with ursine hindquarters, but I trust that someone, somewhere is (and I do not envy that individual). At any rate, I've decided that this bear business cannot continue, and I have therefore adjusted the textural quality of my hair. As you can see:

A Very Hokie Road Trip

2008-04-20T23:03:00.006-04:00

So the Widge got to visit Uncle Nick, which pretty much resulted in all of us hearing Uncle Nick related babble, toddler-style:

"Saw Firetruck!"

"Saw a big bird!"

"Played Football!"

"Saw Uncle Nick! Uncle Nick lives school, play football! Hi Uncle Nick! Like Uncle Nick!"

All day today we heard "Uncle Nick, Uncle Nick, Uncle Nick!" Guess who the Widge's hero is.

I dug out a stump!

2008-04-08T22:30:00.004-04:00

With help, of course. Its a much bigger and heavier stump than it looks. There are five more (!)

Somebody enjoyed the circus

2008-04-05T22:11:00.003-04:00

but then again, it is the greatest show on earth.

the promised photos

2008-03-22T21:02:00.005-04:00

First some Widgie haircut photos. See hoe sweet he looks with his nice little haircut? All ready for the pile of Easter loot he'll be getting (photos coming soon).

Now, Stella and the shower:

Hooray for Stella! And now I stick my tongue out all all of you (other than Stella and Ma) because I'm one of the fortunate few who have seen Stella's fancy handcrafted wedding invites. Go on, envy my VIP status.

Hey, have a rockin' Easter!

holy smokes, its Easter!

2008-03-20T22:41:00.002-04:00

Not right this moment. Well, maybe right this moment, if you're reading this on Easter. I'm not writing this on Easter, but pretty close.

Apparently I'm not getting a sappy Easter card from the Lt. Well then. At least I know where I stand. I totally agree with him, there aren't so many funny cards. I think, however, Easter isn't a funny holiday. Not like Christmas, with the fat guy running around with reindeer. All Easter has is a bunny, and he really doesn't have the popularity of Santa. Maybe if he brought something better than jellybeans. Of course I'm not a hue fan of the beans, unlike the Widge, who now shouts "jellyBEAN!" at regular intervals, in a commanding voice. But regardless of your feelings on jellybeans, Santa brings video games, and the bunny just brings beans.

But the real issue here is that Easter has remained a religious holiday, and sadly, most folks don't seem to think religion is funny, which is a shame. I personally think religion is very funny, unless its a religion that involves killing people or animals, thats not funny at all. And while the death of the Saviour isn't a giggly sort of thing, the Resurrection certainly is. I mean, Mary Magdalen mistook the risen Christ for the gardener, after all. That might actually be the strongest evidence of all for that nutty idea that they were married: she didn't even recognize Him. And then He proceeded to wander around chatting with folks, chowing down, taking long walks, and so forth, which is pretty good when you're dead. The whole walking though locked doors was a pretty good party trick too, so good Christ did it twice. If we fast-forward a bit to the Pentecost, we get to the part with the speaking in tongues. Even the phrase is funny. Speaking in tongues and snake handling are probably the funniest religious activities ever. (Fun fact: West Virginia is the only state in which religious snake-handling is legal). The point is, someone probably could make some funny Easter cards (Example: outside of card showing empty tomb. Text: "Know why Christ rose from the dead on Easter?" inside: "to see what the bunny had left him!". Well, maybe not.) Nobody wants to poke fun at religion, is the thing. And there are only so many bunny jokes you can make. So lets see what you can come up with. (how about this: outside of card showing a risen Christ giving a television interview, saying: "Yeah, around this time of year, I'm even more popular than the Beatles!" inside: "have a rockin' Easter. Yeah, yeah, yeah.") Can any of you write any funny Easter card text? I mean, before we go whining about the lousy industry-created cards, we ought to make some effort to understand the difficulties card-writers face. Leave your prototypes in the comments and we'll discuss.

Eh.

2008-03-16T23:27:00.003-04:00

So. Donald Duck says that a lot, and its always a complete thought, in just one word. So! I don't think it conveys as much in type.

Stella had a shower, it was fun. There are photos somewhere, I'll try to get them out into the world.

The Widge, who is more fun every day, had his first barber shop haircut. He was an angel, and now he looks even cuter than before. There are photos somewhere. He's talking amazingly now. He informed me this morning that there would be "No diaper change." Even better, he's hitting that high mark: he plays well with others! Today, at least: some of the young cousins came to the shower too, and they all ran around the yard and there seemed to be no arguments! The Widge is good in general: he can be "confrontational, " but he neither hits nor bites: he argues. I support arguments (as some of you might know), as long as they're relatively respectful and follow a logical path. It doesn't have to be realistic, just logical. The Widge, however, has a lesser grasp on logic, and compensates with force of personality. There is no logical argument that stands up to the stern gaze of an almost-two-year-old, and he knows it. He wins a fair amount of arguments just because I like his style.

I'm never going outside after dark again

2008-03-06T21:10:00.003-05:00

I saw a big fat possum, walking through the parking lot like he owned it. (Actually, for all I know he does own it). Possums have no redeeming qualities, as far as I'm concerned. They're big and scary looking and they hang out in the dark, looking all mean with their rat tails and pointy teeth. They're not as bad as snaked, that might be their redeeming quality. It could be their slogan, should they ever band together in an attempt to change public perception about them. "Possums: we're not as bad as snakes!" I think, technically, these are Opossums, possums (without the "o") are fuzzy little creatures from Australia whose fur apparently makes lovely yarn. Other interesting animals that produce yarn: muskox, buffalo, camel, yak, beaver, mink, fox, muskrat, and, oddly enough, dogs.

yeah, I have yarn on the brain, because I'm waiting for the spring issue of my favorite online knitting magazine. I read it for the articles. Seriously.

re the yarn, as far as I know, most of those animals have to be dead to produce yarn. Dogs, like sheep, alpacas, goats, and rabbits, can get shorn, and walk away fine, but a little chillier. Buffalo, beaver, possum etc. have to be dead, then the fibers are combed or sheared from the pelt. (in the case of the buffalo, this happens when the bison is butchered for steaks. The production of yarn from buffalo undercoat allows us to use more parts of the buffalo). The muskox, on the other hand, produces a yarn called quivet, which is horrifically expensive (I saw a skein in a yarn shop recently priced at $119, which isn't too bad for quivet), but is also the softest, warn without bulk yarn around. The reason for the high price? The muskox sheds its soft undercoat every year when the weather gets warm, and to rid itself of the hair it rubs against bushes, rocks, and whatever else grows on the tundra where it lives. Then cheerful ox-hair-gatherers go into the tundra and carefully pick the hairs off rocks, bushes, and wherever else it is. In this way the yarn is created without the oxen ever being touched by humans, and so if you're looking for an animal-friendly fiber (and you're not smart enough to go with cotton, bamboo, corn, soy, or any of the dozens of acrylic or other plant-based yarns), quivet is the way to go. Read more about quivet here.

Money, money, money!

2008-03-03T19:45:00.002-05:00

Well, not that much money. I got my federal tax refund, so I actually spent a few minuted thinking nice thoughts about the government. But only a few. I've been putting off my state(s) and local forms, but I suppose I really should do them. This year I used TurboTax, which was extremely helpful, but I sort of missed the fun of the sharpened pencils and using my little calculator, and reading those eye-crossing columns of tax numbers in that little book the government mails you. The one that includes two copies of the 1040 form (so you can screw one up), and also is always printed such that all the ink sticks to your hands but not the paper it was intended to cling to. If I were the conspiracy sort, I'd develop some theory about that, but personally I don't think the government or anyone who works for it is involved in any secret conspiracies. I know plenty of federal employees, and they're mostly very nice people, but none of them seem organized enough for sneaky plots. Besides, they're generally very busy, what with the donut meetings, lunches, and all the time they spend making coffee, drinking coffee, and walking to and from the bathroom as a result of coffee. It certainly is a hectic life, manning the faceless bureaucracy, pushing cookies, as we used to say in the Building (the Pentagon, for all you non-beltway types). Notably, in spite of my years of experience as a tax-wasting bureaucrat, I can't actually spell bureaucracy. (I don't mean to impugn you other tax-wasters. You're probably wasting our taxes for a good cause. I mostly wasted taxes without producing anything of value to society. But I had a nice phone voice, nice enough that I occasionally was asked to record answering machine messages for other offices. I'm somewhat proud of that obscure achievement.)

Speaking of bureaucrats, the husband has just accepted a job offer and will soon be among their ranks. Fear not, he'll only be at the state level.

Leap Day

2008-02-29T20:12:00.001-05:00

If I were so special as to only appear every four years, I think I'd request a name far more dignified than "Leap Day." On the other hand, I met some of my very best friends in the LEAP program at PSU. And mt name is Skip, which isn't far off "Leap". Regardless, in celebration I'm watching my beloved Pirates of Penzance. Hooray!

the promised pictures

2008-02-24T20:42:00.006-05:00

See, through the magic of photography, I can create a post with minimal writing effort. The Lt. does is sometimes. Matt does it all the time. Well, not all the time, only on the rare, very rare, occasions that he blogs at all. Speaking of rare blogging, sorry I haven't updated more frequently. For whatever reason, February is just a draining month this year. And of course my life doesn't tend to offer much blog-worthy excitement. I don't feel too guilty, because there are plenty of you who blog far less often. You know who you are.

Anyway, regarding the photos, the husband took them, so they provide an interesting comparison point to my generally lousy photos, as well as a wonderful opportunity to see some pictures of me! In this first one, for example, I can only assume he was intending to focus on the Widge there, poking the ground with a stick. I'm the chubby, non-uniformed torso in the back, chatting with a militiaman.
This second photo is a tent in the Hessian camp. I'm not sure exactly what they keep in it, since its roughly the size of a small broom closet, and I'm guessing they didn't bring brooms along. In this one, I'm saying "no, stand still, just a minute, just one minute and then you can run, look at daddy, please just look at daddy, see, right there, he's the one with the camera, no, please stand still..." Not my best angle. I'm taller in real life.

Hey, a photo that blissfully does not include me! These are Hessians of some sort. I'm thinking that lemon yellow isn't the ideal color to wear into battle. It seems a little obvious. I'm thinking these are like the pledges, if they survive the lemon-yellow phase, they can move on to a better looking uniform. Something like this, complete with really shiny pope-looking hats:

"Hey, Franz, being a protestant mercenary iz cool. Ve get to vear pope-schtyle hats, und vith all the money rolling into our country, ve'll eventually be able to take over ze vorld!"

"Ja, Hans. It makes up for ze fact zat our accents vill be made fun of for drei hundert years!"

Check out the kickin' mustaches on these guys.

Field Trip!

2008-02-17T16:07:00.003-05:00

First off, I know you'll all join me in wishing our Forky friend a happy birthday.

Additionally, please go visit the W blog for some great stuff about being politically informed. Lack of political interest makes the founding fathers cry, people.

Speaking of which, in celebration of Washington's birthday, we went to a Revolutionary re-enactment, a rare treat here in Civil War Central, where you can't actually call it "civil" and must instead refer to the "War Between the States," or, my personal favorite "The War of Northern Aggression." This was an especial delight because of the presence of some Hessians. The Widge was delighted: during the battle he shouted orders like a general: "March! More men, more march! March, march! Boom! More boom! More big boom!" Of course this isn't his first battle: less than a month after he was born, we went to a Memorial Day re-enactment of a WWII skirmish at the Pennsylvania Military Museum. Anyway, we had a wonderful time, and the Americans won, which was good. So happy President's Day to all. Photos coming soon-ish.

Vote or Die

2008-02-12T22:40:00.002-05:00

or something like that.

Shame on you blogtypes who didn't vote. Go stand in the corner and think about what you've failed to do.

Ladies and gentlemen, when you don't vote, the terrorists win. I'm serious. Our ability to vote (and then gobble Chinese food while watching the returns. Or pizza, hey, that's what America's all about: choice) is the hallmark of our freedom, the tangible expression of our status as citizens, the physical form of our voice, not just as political beings, but as people. As humans we have a natural right to our free will, and when we don't vote (and don't give me any crap about "choosing not to exercise it") we literally, seriously give up that free will. We abandon our future, our lives, to the decision-making of others. Look around you, consider your acquaintances. Would you hand over your paycheck to them, to spend at will? Would you allow them to determine your ability to attend college, invest money, secure your retirement savings, obtain medical care? If you don't vote, that's exactly what you're doing. (And if you're gonna go that route, just send the paycheck to me.) Politics isn't a game played by old men in marble hallways, its the way you interact with the world, plan for your future, and memorialize your past. I am deeply, deeply ashamed of all of you who elect not to vote. I still like you as people, but I think you're making a serious mistake, and playing Russian roulette with your future.

I've been telling everyone that if they vote for Hillary, I'll never speak to them again. I've been asked if I'm serious, if it really matters that much. It does. Most of you know me well enough to know that, many of you know my family history enough to know I come from a fairly serious line of strongly active political citizens. Oppression is real, and I'll bet anything that you, personally, have a family tree full of people who swam rivers in the dead of night to escape oppression, who marched into battle and risked death to fight against oppression, who voted, organized, studied and worked so that they could vote, and become politically involved, because that is the ultimate freedom from oppression. And all those activities in the past were undertaken not only because your ancestors valued their freedom, but because they valued your freedom, they looked forward to the distant future, in which you would exist and be free to make political choices. If you don't vote, they might as well have buckled under, not even bothered.

Some of you just plain don't like the candidates, and I understand that. But that being true, why not work for the campaign of someone you do like? Write letters, create a pro-candidate web page or Facebook group. Just giving up and complaining is a terrible way to express opinion: if you aren't involved, you have to just shut up and take whatever you get. That's the choice you make by not voting.

Yes, it is this serious, even in the primary, even in small local races. No, I don't have a perfect voting record either, and I am ashamed of that. This matters, people, more than almost anything else, certainly more than what's on T.V, who wins the Oscars, what's going on in your relationship, friendships, or whether your car is in need of an oil change. Your political voice has the ability to change your reality, and craft the world of tomorrow. If you let that chance slip away, you deserve scathing blog tongue-lashings.

I Voted Today!

2008-02-12T14:33:00.000-05:00

Did you? Okay, most of you probably didn't, cause you live in other states. But this voting thing is serious, and I want you all to think hard about it.

Other than that, not much going on around here. Its raining, the Widge is talking more and giving lots of kisses, and apparently there's some holiday coming up with all the hearts.

unseasonable

2008-02-04T23:03:00.001-05:00

its supposed to be somewhere in the 60's tomorrow. I don't know if I'm prepared for this shocking warmth, and all the mud that I'm sure will come along.

You may be happy to know, however, that we took down our Christmas tree. We've given up the hope of Santa returning with more presents and begun to look forward to large, benevolent rabbit visits.

There really isn't anything new to report from Skiptopia, but I'd like to direct you all to the Lt. blog, which features lots of photos, some including Hulk Hogan and Kevin Costner, as well as all manner of bead-wearing weirdos and a little action and adventure. As exciting travel blogs go, the Lt's is my favorite.

Meanwhile, keep your eye out for action and adventure of another sort: tomorrow is Super Tuesday!

Groundhogs and Poems

2008-02-02T19:16:00.000-05:00

Apparently there's a southern groundhog, mentioned on the W Blog. I've heard there's some weather-predicting crayfish in LA as well. I hereby state the Official Skip Position of Weather-Predicting Creatures of Any Type: there is only one Phil, folks. I'm not saying he's always right, but I am saying that he is a national institution, and should not be tampered with. I'm sure he's flattered by the profusion of wanna-bes.

Also, apparently there is a Silent Poetry Reading that occurs in Blogland on 2 Feb. This year is the third reading. So, for my turn, I'll be reading Vade Mecum, by Billy Collins (I found it in the book club book for February, Sailing Alone Around the Room). If you're so inclined, also look up his poem Taking off Emily Dickinson's clothes, which is, subject-wise, about exactly what it says. I like it, but I'm not sure you blogfans are that forgiving of my poetic sensibilities.

Greetings in Febtober

2008-02-01T08:24:00.000-05:00

So my turntable did arrive yesterday, and many of you already know that because I called you and made you listen to it over the phone. To your credit, you all faked enthusiasm beautifully.

The sound really is marvelous, and because its a 6-record stackable (so it plays one after another, up to 6), I get to hear that cool retro sound of the record dropping. The Widge is fascinated, because sounds are coming from some boxy thing in our dining room, and because the whole business arrived in a very big box.

Speaking of the Widge, here are some Christmas photos for your enjoyment:

You can see that the pacifier (better known as the plug) is basically a constant feature. I like it best when he crams two or three in at once, or when he hangs it out the side of his moth, like a mobster with a cigar. He spends much of his free time apparently finding hiding places for them: once we discovered one hidden behind a poster on the wall of his room. He's very talented with this, so talented that we've lost roughly 6 or 7 plugs since Christmas. To balance that, he really only likes the one type of plug, the most impossible to find. I'm told this is all part of that curse that parents put, the I-hope-you-have-a-child-just-like-you curse. Folks, the curse, as Bill Cosby noted, works. Before you have kids of your own, think carefully: were you a hellion in your youth? Maybe a houseplant is the way to go. I can't complain too much: I got the plug thing and the resistance to sleep in any form, but on the other hand he's been carrying books around, telling himself stories based on the pictures. Yesterday while I was setting up the turntable, he pulled "The Road to Valley Forge" off my bookshelf, opened to random page, and began "reading". Plus, in liking such a rare plug, he gives me an exciting challenge, and I get to do happy touchdown-style dances whenever I find a plug. Every day is an Easter egg hunt here. As you see, he's pretty serious about the train driving, too. This particular train (I think its official name, the one that appears on the timetables, is: "Big TrAAAAAAIN!") now runs from the train table in his room to the kitchen: perfect for those commuters in the food-service industry. On special occasions it runs to the bathroom as well, for the special holiday outing.

In conclusion: what happened to January?!? Where did this Feb business come from!!! Now I have to pay more bills. I must say, though, in spite of being such a short month, February really packs it in, celebration-wise. Props for that, except it complicated my correspondence by introducing more event-specific cards.

Speaking of events: in Superbowl picks, the official Skiphaus prediction is: the Giants. Because husband likes the Giants, and because I don't like Brady. I'm not actually planning to watch the game, it would ruin my streak of Superbowl avoidance. Although for all of you on the fence about watching, apparently Victoria's Secret purchased an ad spot, if that helps your decision-making any.

The return of the photo

2008-01-31T08:43:00.000-05:00

The Widge loves snow!

I was hoping to post gushing reviews of life with a turntable, because my turntable was loaded on the local UPS truck for delivery yesterday morning, but the UPS guy arrived way later than usual, and I had already left for the evening.

Hey, my Widge just came over to help me blog, which he's doing by pointing at his photo and saying: "Snow! Yay!" and trying hard to add content by hitting the "Control" button repeatedly. I'll interpret that to mean that he wants to send a big shout-out to all his fans in blogland, and tell you all to keep it real.

In politics, since I've started watching the news again a bit and reading Newsweek, I have to say that I'm pleased at McCain's success. I liked McCain in 2000 too, so its like watching the obscure actor you've always liked get a starring role. You go, McCain! There'll be more issues discussed in blogworld as time goes on, but for now I have to lay down the ground rules: if you're voting for Hillary, you must leave my blog, right now, and never come back. Seriously. And please identify yourself in the comments so that I can cross you off my Christmas card list.

I think, actually, if you are compassionate at all, you have to vote for a conservative, and here's why: whenever a conservative gets elected president, liberals joke about having to move to Canada, or England, or some other lefty country for the duration of the right-wing term. But if a liberal gets elected, where can we conservatives go to escape all the social programs and defense budget cuts? Montana might seem like a foreign country we can turn to for refuge, but its actually just another state. Where else in the world could we achieve sanctuary among nice, right-thinking citizens without putting ourselves into a totalitarian military state, or at least a setting where we're highly likely to see bullets fly? I guess Vatican City is an option, but they don't really have the infrastructure to succor thousands of displaced American conservatives, plus its surrounded by the political quagmire of Italy, so we'd still probably bump into socialists every day. My point is: always vote conservative, because we have nowhere else to go.

How To Make Your Voice Heard in Politics: the Exciting Conclusion!

2008-01-26T09:47:00.000-05:00

Having secured the necessary props, we must carefully consider the setting. Most would-be activists believe the best place to shoot a high-profile figure is a government building. They are sadly mistaken. In addition to being heavily guarded and in possession of metal detectors, these buildings are very confusing. Most high-profile figures who actually work there cannot find their way around. You will also become lost. And so might the television crews who need to arrive on scene to broadcast your message.

A better option is to proceed to the Union Station area and seek out a restaurant that charges more than $1.50 for water. (The Hard Rock Cafe doesn't count. Its not nearly classy enough, and its not in the Union Station area. Buy a map). Wait there until the lunch hour, which, in the District, occurs between 10 AM and 3 PM. You are almost guaranteed to see a high-profile government figure.

But wait: how do you recognize a high-profile government figure?! You could start be reading ever possible news magazine, and memorizing key names and photos. But a better option is to just watch C-Span, non-stop, for about a week. Pay close enough attention to differentiate actual elected officials from Congressional pages: the elected ones doze off at their own individual desks. The pages doze on steps, leaning against walls, and sitting on the floor. Don't shoot a page, they're too young. But get to know them: they might eventually become high-profile officials. If shooting at Congressmen isn't your style, consider lobbyists. Nobody seems to like them anyway. Avoid Diplomats at all costs: you want to get your message across, not start an international incident. Your best bet is to aim for somebody with an impressive title, but whose severe injury won't halt the process of government. The best examples of this type of official are: Congressmen, Senators, Supreme Court Justices, and the Vice President, although its much harder to casually run across that last fellow in a random restaurant. If your message is that important, you're going to need far more planning and organization than this essay can give. Visit your local library.

For those of you with reasonable aims, the best way to quickly identify an official is to look for a badge, and a whole retinue of hangers-on. This sort of tight grouping of several people indicates the presence of lobbyists and staffers, as well as being useful if you're not too accurate on the aim.

I cannot stress this enough: shootings cause chaos. This is exactly why you're shooting someone: chaos gets noticed. This also provides a complication: If you shoot first, and then state your opinion, nobody will hear you, and all your efforts will have been wasted. This is the sort of thing you need to get right on the first try. So, for maximum effect, follow these simple steps:

First, be sure to jump up on a table. For extra drama, try to break some glassware in the process. Next, state your political message, swiftly and loudly. Be sure to practice this beforehand: your message should be brief and easy to understand, and you should enunciate. If you mumble some gibberish, the waiters will escort you out before you finish, and instead of "activist" you'll be labeled as "nut-job." Which doesn't look as impressive in a biography. Then pull out your gun. (Make yourself a note: jump, message, shoot). Shoot quickly. Try to wound your target: that means plenty of news coverage through recuperation. Do not, however, be too concerned about hitting somebody else, or no one at all. As long as bullets are flying, it counts as a shooting. The more holes in the wall, the more effective your activism has been. If possible, shatter a few windows, and re-shout your message as the police and camera crews arrive.

Congratulations, you are now an activist. You can watch your moment of glory, along with several million of your fellow citizens, if they let you watch television in your cell. Don't let imprisonment concern you; your opinion has reached the masses, and plenty of criminals get paroled.

The benefits of this method of political involvement are numerous. You don't need to go through a complex registration process, be a certain age, or prove your identity. You could shoot under a false name, if you'd like. You don't have to obtain correct postage, or worry about finding the proper address, and then worrying that your Representative will ignore your note. All of America notices a good shooting. Prisons are generally clean, and you won't have to worry about putting food on the table while you're there. For the civic-minded activist, consider the fact that there are several hospitals in the region, and every wound you inflict helps keep the surgeons in touch with their training, as well as justifying keeping that hospital open for the general populace to frequent in their times of post-shooting need. You might even create a need for more doctors, thus furthering the American dream. I, personally, am amazed that so few citizens choose this method of political expression.

On the other hand, if the idea of sending a Congressman into a coma upsets you, you could always try voting. Its certainly more complex, less exciting, has minimal immediate impact, and you won't end up on the evening news, but there are those who swear by it. I tend to indulge in the occasional balloted event myself. Of course when I vote, its against gun control. Its just my way of looking out for my fellow citizens.

How-to, Part 3 (of 4)

2008-01-21T08:03:00.000-05:00

(Disclaimer:this is SATIRE. Don't shoot people. If you feel the strong urge to shoot people, consult your local mental health professional.)

And even the most politically aware Americans can become skeptical and disillusioned. They want certain things from the government, but like frustrated lab rats are unsure of what lever to press. It can seem like a daunting task, getting the big, hulking giant of government to notice one tiny voice. If only there were an easy way to get good ideas out there, to get elected officials to take notice. Instead we see to have a pothole in our ideological structure. We have a government for the people, by the people, from which the people seem largely alienated. Has Democracy failed the common man?! Is there nothing the average American can do to make his voice heard over the rumbling groans of our political mechanism??!?

Fear not-- I have the answer, the one simple thing you, the common man, can do to have your voice resonate across the fruited plain. If you want to be noticed, to share your political opinions with a wide range of your fellow citizens, and to garner some serious media time, your best option isn't the pedestrian vote, and you needn't suffer through the time consuming expense of campaigning. You, the private citizen, have a far more effective option: shoot somebody.

I suggest you take aim at somebody fairly recognizable, somebody in D.C. I'm not saying you have to shoot the president-- in fact your message would get lost in the ensuing hoopla. But it certainly should be a government type with some degree of influence, or at the very least an important-sounding title. Shooting a movie star would label you a crazed stalker; shooting someone in middle America gets you tagged a brutal, bloodthirsty killer. Neither gives you a political voice. Only by pointing your scope toward the political scene can you become an activist, that higher sort of existence craved by all politically aware people.

Since it is illegal to sell or purchase firearms in the District, your expenditures should be low. Of course you could spend some time and cash legally purchasing a gun in another state, and then sneaking it into D.C., but why bother? If you're going to break the law, you might as well do a job of it. You therefore have two options: either kill a criminal and "inherit" his gun, or else just steal one. Killing shouldn't bother you on a moral level, otherwise you'd be at home penning letters to Congressmen, but in killing you run the risk of getting caught, and diffusing the impact of your message. Aside from that, how are you, gunless, going to kill an armed criminal? Unless you're dynamite with poisoned blow-darts, or an expert at knife throwing (and if you are, don't even bother with the gun!) stealing is the way to go. Since owning a gun is illegal, nobody is going to report the theft of his beloved Glock, and in the long run you'll have bigger legal issues to deal with anyway.

In order to steal a gun, you need to recognize potential gun-carriers. In D.C. there are three distinct types of criminal types you should familiarize yourself with:

1) Dead criminals. These have already been relieved of their weapons, cash, jewelry, cell phones, and vehicles, so they aren't any good to you. You're unlikely to see many, because these spend their free time hanging out at the bottom of the river, or rotting in garbage bags in alleys.

2) Successful criminals. In order to become successful, a criminal would have to be alive. Most likely this involves killing other criminals, police officers, innocent bystanders, etc. If you try anything shady, like trying to steal their gun, or asking the time of day, these criminals will kill you too. To avoid these types, stay away from anyone sporting platinum teeth, wearing jewelry bigger than your head, or driving a Lexus.

3)Apprentice criminals. Most of these will soon be dead criminals, although a few will become successful. Apprentice types often flaunt their criminal status, trying to look and act the part. These criminals look and sound like movie gangstas. They're too poor for a Lexus, so they ride the Metro. Steal a gun from a criminal like this. In fact the Metro is a great place for this sort of thing, because its crowded, and the guards are usually busy explaining to tourists why theres no food allowed.

As far as the actual theft, the most important point is: don't go bothering people unless you're completely certain they're packing heat. Roughing up tourists or the average commuter is not the sort of thing politically savvy people do. Besides, some of those commuters are pretty tough, and you'll have a hard time accomplishing your goals after being beaten to a pulp with briefcases and government-issue laptops.

Once your sure an actual gun is present, mosey up casually, ideally as the train door is opening at a station. grab the weapon, and run. Your goal is to not be stuck on a train with the ex-gun-owner, his buddies, and average commuters. That would end your political career. If need be, shoot the criminal and run. You'd be saving both the police and successful criminals some effort, as well as creating an opening in the job market for a new apprentice criminal. This is the sort of good-deed opportunity you, the politically astute, should try to get involved in. If pressed for time, however, it is acceptable to just grab the gun and run like hell.

(coming soon: the exciting conclusion!)

Visit the NRA

2008-01-11T23:04:00.000-05:00

I think its time to pause in the essay, which will continue in the next post. The world is different than when I originally wrote it, back in 2000, so I feel the need to state a few things firmly:

1) DO NOT shoot people. Don't even shoot at people. In fact, don't ever shoot anything in a direction where there might be people.

2) Obey the law. If you aren't allowed to own a gun, don't do it. Support your local law enforcement agency.

Thats about it.

Meanwhile, not much happening, still have a cold, Widge still has a cold. Hope you guys don't have colds!

How to etc., continued

2008-01-09T22:22:00.000-05:00

Not that it would matter if gun-owners were that conscientious. Lawmakers seem deeply concerned with the minutia of District firearm legislation, so much so that they spend an incredible amount of time on the details, picking through every tiny aspect of the issue: from the actual possession of guns, to various features that may or may not cross the line of legality, down to songs or shows that might potentially glorify the ownership, use, or concept of the gun, to the extent that, during my high school years a popular song on the now-defunct HFS had edits not only for language, but also to remove reference to a .45.

Of course none of this affects the die-hard criminal, and his lack of concern does not affect the outcry for legislation. With the multitude of other issues our government faces on a daily basis, not to mention the legions of issues it ignores, why is gun control one of the handful that garners such focused attention? It could be that gun issues, being easier to understand and much louder than economic events, liven up what seems to be a dull government. Our political system, in fact, seems somewhat like the family station wagon: generally dependable, runs decently, works well on a day-to-day basis, and possesses some nostalgic charm, but you certainly aren't rolling it out to impress a date.

The average eligible voter sees government this way: stodgy, rather than cutting edge, and a body that, like stereotypical parents, don't care so much what he thinks. As a result, a big slice of folks eligible to vote never actually go through with it. In addition to the not voting, most of our countrymen do not contact representatives, work for campaigns, staff the polls, or get involved in any other aspect of government more intense than watching the fireworks on July 4th. Rather than mention the whole not-impressing-a-date thing, most citizens cite statistics as the basis for their political lethargy: how could one vote, one letter to one representative, one measly volunteer in one minor campaign, possibly matter? It certainly seems logical. For years the government had lurched along perfectly well without me. The President makes difficult decisions on a daily basis without my input. Campaigns progress, congressmen wake up and wander into their offices, and survive days, weeks, years without ever hearing from me. Even my fellow citizens, who technically share my responsibility for the future of our republic, want no part of my opinion. Those deadbeats have even banned politics from polite conversation. With all this apathy around, why bother worrying about issues? After all, you'd just be wasting time better spent watching YouTube, or playing around with your Wii.

And yet against all odds there exist a number of folks who do have strong political views, and occasionally even excellent ideas. Rather than seeing the government as a babbling old crone, best left alone to her bingo and old stories, these folks view her as young, desirable, and totally worth the effort if you can her to look you over. And these people are in luck! America has long been a land of hope and opportunity. Our greatest export, the American Dream, hinges on the fact that ordinary people can, in fact, do extraordinary things. And in spite of daunting statistical arguments from the disillusioned, the fact remains that our political system is defined by its reliance on the common man and his needs.

(tune in to future posts for more!)

How to Make Your Voice Heard in Politics

2008-01-08T21:50:00.000-05:00

(revised and updated)

We tend to think of Washington D.C. primarily as a large museum, full of interesting sculpture, classic architecture, and various antiquities like biplanes and senators. Occasionally it hosts that quaint three-ring circus we fondly refer to as the government. In general, it seems like a benign place, the sort of place you'd visit on a boring school field trip, a place that gets locked neatly every night and swept in the morning before the tourists arrive. But like any truly interesting city, D.C. harbors a dark, seamy underbelly. (Like almost any truly interesting city. Las Vegas, for example, manages to be interesting by being a dark, seamy underbelly, but thats a different essay.) The District is, in and around those gleaming monuments, one elaborate shooting gallery--one great big O.K. Corral, and has even occasionally carried the distinct honor of being murder capitol of the United States. This honor places it in the company of such other favorite tourist spots as Detroit and Newark.

The creative residents of D.C., ever eager to enhance the reputation of their fair city, have developed a staggering array of variations on the theme. There are drive-bys and gangland shootouts, of course, but District shooters really excel at the mystery murder. Take, for example, the case in which a police officer, dispatched to a minor domestic dispute (minor in the fact that it was not terminal for either party) noticed an odd oder nearby, and found, in a garbage bag on a neighboring lot, an unidentified body. Or the time a woman went missing, and the police dragged the river (a fairly logical step in missing persons cases in the murder capitol). They found no sign of her, but located three unidentified bodies. Of course not all bodies are unidentified, as in the case of the man who was about to give important testimony in a fraud lawsuit. He never made it, because, in the bored tones of the newscaster: "Unfortunately he was killed in an unrelated case."

Not all shootings result in murder, but most crimes in D.C. involve guns, and therefore shootings. This occurs in spite of the fact that the District's gun control laws are among the Nation's strictest. Occasionally a shooting stirs up public outcry for more laws, tighter regulations, and heavier punishments, and the government whips into a small frenzy of debate and study. So far, the shootings don't seem to be ending. Its possible that this is because we need even harsher laws, but I have a different theory.

Here it is: Any individual whose lifestyle that includes the distinct possibility of being shot at by, or needing to shoot at his coworkers (or sometimes his neighbors, or possibly random passers-by) probably isn't overly concerned with the legality of gun ownership. I have a hard time envisioning the drug dealer carefully filling out paperwork and patiently biding his time through a necessary waiting period. Gang members probably aren't in the habit of checking their weapons for illegal modifications before heading out to a turf war. Vigilantes and psycho sniper-type killers aren't likely to be respectfully studying the penal codes, or stocking up on legal weapons like frying pans. I could be wrong, but the whole idea of tougher gun-control stopping violent shootings is a bit like trying to prevent cases of Grand Theft Auto by beefing up the punishments for jaywalking... (tune in soon for the continuing essay...)

in consideration

2008-01-07T10:15:00.000-05:00

short short tiny note today as i continue to write. I do a lot of whining and complaining, and some of you have been very good natured about it. I wanted to make note then, that today is a beautiful day, I had a lovely long walk this morning, a good, hearty laugh, and a marvelous cup of coffee (a rare good cup that I made!) and I'm feeling good, alert and sharp, so much so that I accepted the offer to chair our knitting group. Just so you don't think of me as a constant complainer. Instead you should think of me as Madame Chairman.

By popular demand

2008-01-06T22:43:00.000-05:00

or, technically, lack of organized protest, I'm revising my shooting thing for a future right here, in blogland, with you guys. If any of you are out there. But what started as mild proofreading has progressed into a serious rewrite, so you'll have to wait a bit longer. I can hear your tears now, but never fear, loyal blog-readers (all two of you)! Your wait will not be long.

Meanwhile, Natalie named her iPod, for computer-related reasons. I didn't know it was possible to name an iPod, although mine appears under the seriously unoriginal title: "Skip's iPod". Natalie's has an actual name, which is cool. So henceforth my iPod will be known as Nixon.

As promised

2008-01-05T13:36:00.000-05:00

see, I found a folder of stuff I wrote for my creative writing class in college, about 100 years ago. Some of it is horrendously bad, as only forced writing can be, but there is some funny stuff, including my essay on shooting public officials, which I may or may not eventually run here in serial form. But I also found a longish compilation that frankly sucks, but has some good little elements, and this particular bit made me laugh. So here it is.

Al Gore peeked cautiously around a corner.

"You gentlemen are lucky," he whispered over his shoulder. "everyone is out at a peace summit. The two shadowy men behind him kept quiet as they crept through the empty halls of the White House. They didn't need to, all the staff and aides had gone along to the summit with the first family. The lights were off, the front door locked, and the key hidden, as usual, under the welcome mat out front.

"You know, I actually invented peace summits," Gore continued, as he opened a door. "I mean, my name isn't on the patent, but I once wrote a letter to my congressman, and I said: what we need is a forum, so that leaders can get together, and discuss peace." The three men passed into a shadowy room, full of darkness and large furniture. "I said it should be called a garden of peace, because the peace would grow, like a little plant, but summit works fine too." Gore flicked a switch.

"Oooooooooo!" the Cuban and Chinaman sucked in their breath in awe.

"Now, Mr. Castro, about my payment..." Gore ventured. The bearded leader blinked at him.

"Payment? Oh yes, we've decided to pay you in the form of two pandas."

"Pandas? What am I going to do with pandas?" Castro shrugged.

"We're throwing in some sand too. China learned how to engineer perfect test-tube pandas, and in Cuba we have much sand. Americans love pandas and sand. You twisted capitalists."

"Look, Mr. Castro, ever since I didn't get elected Tip and I have had some trouble making ends meet. Now I've just used my private knowledge of White House secrets to sneak you gentlemen in for a Lincoln-bedroom pillowfight, and all I get are pandas?"

"Thats capitalism. Its not my fault you have an inadequate government and debauched populace. Two male pandas, thats all."

"Male pandas? Two male pandas? Thats not fair, I can't even breed them and release their offspring into protected bamboo groves." Gore pouted. Castro merely shrugged.

"This is not my problem. We could send one male and one female, if you'll recruit footsoldiers for a communist uprising here in America. And you can design your own commune." Castro pulled the biggest cigar Gore had ever seen from his pocket.

"And if I don't?" Gore asked, trying not too look too eager. A commune of his very own! It would be poetic justice, since the original idea for the modern commune had, of course-

"We'll kill you," Castro said, simply, puffing out a ring of thick smoke.

"I see your point, and I suppose I can work with you on this matter." Castro smiled.

"Yes, we thought you'd decide that. You may select which landfill you want to re purpose for your commune, and begin building your bamboo groves. But first, would you take a souvineer photo of us?"

to my Hokie friends

2008-01-04T12:39:00.000-05:00

well the Hokies are experiencing a feeling that Penn Staters know well: the defeat of their team. Cheer up, Gobblers, you're still the ACC champs. I think, however, that you've been grossly unfair to your football team, with the assistance of the media. The entire Hokie Nation suffered a horrible tragedy, and almost from the start you all expected this small group of young men to rebuild the morale of the entire body of Hokie fans, worldwide, and then carry it on, victory after victory, into one long memorial season. Now every mention of the Tech team, every interview with a coach or player, and every article on every game hearkens back to the shootings, and pins hope on the team's success as the engine of healing. That's a lot of pressure for a bunch of guys who are working through their feelings and memories, trying to make it through classes, and handling all the regular pressures of college life and life in general, just like everyone else. Here's what should have happened: all you Hokie fans should have recognized that the greatest monument to Hokie healing and resilience is the simple fact that these players continue to take the field. Even if they lost every single game, the fact that they keep playing, that the students keep attending classes and the faculty and staff keep working: that's the healing, that's the memorial to the victims: that the Hokie Bird didn't sit trembling behind a locked door, he stood up and went out to face the light of day, and struggle through his failures as well as revel in his successes, to live and play and eat and fight and cry and laugh as the victims of this shooting intended to do, because they weren't sainted martyrs, they were just college kids, and neither the team nor the students should be expected to live up to some ideal or carry on some glorious crusade in the memory of slayed heroes: they should just be college kids. In the long run, it won't really matter that this particular team lost this bowl game. What will matter, over the years, is that these players took the field with dignity and spirit, and that is what should personify V-Tech, what should be its calling card to the world, that along with the quality of its education, the history of excellence, the diversity and vitality of its students. I'm not saying that you Hokies or anyone else should forget the shootings: I'm saying that every future act ever committed by any Hokie anywhere should not have to be tied back somehow to this tragedy. I'm saying that in the future when the media or the gawkers or the misguided start in on the lurid details, the Hokie Nation should hold its head up and say: yes, but we aren't a university of victims, and our successes and glories aren't defined by these shootings. We were a great school before, and we always will be, and nothing can ever change that.

and I promise some humor for the next post.

The title is really the hardest part

2008-01-03T14:07:00.000-05:00

Or, in Fight Club terms: I am Skip's crushing lack of titular creativity.

Well the Widge and I both have sniffles. He's snoozing now, and I decided to clean the bathroom, for the first time this year. I know you're all thinking I'm blogging in order to stall, but already I cleaned, I'm just waiting for the floor to dry before putting back the diaper pail, toys, and other random stuff that somehow lives in my bathroom. I think instead of thinking of it as random stuff, I'm going to consider it art. Some people spend big money on knick-knacks and random sculptures and stuff for their house, but mine is genuine, pure in the sense that it was created without an eye toward artistic display. My home is a monument to Neo-Victorianism, my clutter comes with all the edge afforded by those T-1 cables and blister-wrapped batteries, the bookcases spill over with odd bits of paper, and the entire thing is somewhat surrealist, post-modern. If we walked away from the house now we could sell the whole mess to a gallery, to be lovingly re-assembled in some cavernous museum, with some vague, haunting title that has no link to the stuff itself. With us here, its just clutter, stuff and junk piled up, but without us around using it, it would all become haunting. There's nothing spookier than a well-stocked changing table, waiting dustily for a baby that will never be powdered here again. And every haunted house the world over is chock full of bookshelves, volumes worn and tattered and musty with secrets they will never reveal.

See, justifying clutter is quicker and easier than removing it.

In the real world, congrats to WVU, and I know you'll all be tuning in to whatever channel is carrying the V Tech game, so keep your eyes opened for #72. From all of us here in the Skiphaus: win those oranges, Forky!

Happy New Year (for real)

2008-01-01T00:14:00.000-05:00

Let me be the very first (since its 0015) to wish you a Happy 2008!

Happy Almost New Year!

2007-12-31T15:43:00.001-05:00

Hey a photo! Thanks Lt.!! In this photo you see the remains of the cake I made for Christmas Eve. They were actually several little cakes, shaped like cars and trucks: sorry I didn't get a photo, but I'll be doing those again and so you'll see pics in the future.

Meanwhile, go here. The player identified as Nick Kaminski is actually the Fork. You can see him in the video, if you want. Note his ability (rare among athletes) to construct a coherent sentence. Lets all hope the Hokies win the Orange Bowl, because then all my relations will be happy.

Aside from those important messages, its now time for resolutions, if you're the resolution type. My advice: don't do it. Nobody ever sticks to resolutions: you're just setting yourself up. Instead of getting into some high-pressure resolution, just try to think a happy thought every day. Its more fun than a diet, and if you eventually forget, there isn't any guilt involved. I actually did keep a resolution for a while: five or six years ago I resolved to never again drink green alcoholic beverages. And I didn't, until the Lt. showed up with his green chili wine. So: was I successful because I kept that resolution for the year in which I resolved? Or did the eventual breaking of the resolution negate (or at least mitigate) my temporary success in resolution-keeping? See, resolutions never really go away: if you lose weight this year, next year you'll have to at least maintain your new weight, or suffer the guilt of fattening back up and breaking old resolutions. If you resolve to stop smoking or drinking, or cursing, you can never go back to doing those things, or else you'll have ruined your success. Most New Year's resolutions actually bind you for life: behave forever or suffer guilt. These are the sorts of choices that shouldn't be made while holding champagne and flinging streamers about. So I guess my real New Years message is: don't drink and resolve. Improving yourself and your life is a good idea, but wait until you've sobered up, and that post-holiday-sugar-buzz wears off. Lets face it, we all think more clearly without lampshades on our heads. (for the record, I've never attended a party that involved the wearing of lampshades in any fashion. I've also never attended a toga party. I was invited to one, but I had to go to work that night.)

If you can't help yourself, I've prepared a list of safe, low-pressure resolutions that you can grasp in your holiday frenzy:

1) I resolve to stop cursing one day each month, unless I'm having a really bad day that day.

2) I resolve to eat fewer snacks on Tuesdays in June, except ice cream and chocolate which contain healthful calcium.

3) I I resolve to smile at old ladies in the grocery store unless they're really cranky looking. I at least resolve to not run old ladies over with my shopping cart, unless they're blocking the whole aisle, at which point I'd be doing the other shoppers a service by running the lane-hog over.

4) I resolve to not put a lampshade on my head except at New Year's, unless some other really awesome party comes up, or if Skip is at the party, because she's never been present at a lampshade-wearing event.

5) I resolve to read Skip's blog regularly.

6) I resolve to comment on a blog I like once a month until I forget to comment.

See, nice, safe, fun resolutions.

Happy New Year to all!

Hey, Penn State Won!

2007-12-30T13:19:00.000-05:00

Well I was going to post some photos the other day but apparently I have none: CVS apparently failed to put any photos on my photo disk. I sure wish I had that digital camera, and honestly I can't imagine where its gone, I even emptied boxes recently and saw not a trace of the missing camera.

Anyway, Penn State won, and I'm just as surprised as anyone else. If we're very lucky blog fans, we might get some actual photos of the festivities, but judging from recent posts (or lack thereof) I doubt it. So: go other universities!

Meanwhile I think we may be getting some new molars. This whole tooth thing is ridiculous, its like the whole Rocky series: just when you think you're safe, a whole new one shows up. Apparently by the time he gets the last of them, it'll be just about time for them to fall out. Its little things like this that make me think the human body isn't necessarily such a marvel of engineering after all.

Bleh

2007-12-26T13:49:00.000-05:00

Yes, here it is, the post-holiday slump. After all the frenzied cooking, wrapping, calling, visiting, and the extreme excitement of gifts and cookies, suddenly its over and we have presents that aren't quite brand new, crumpled paper that we so carefully affixed to special items, plates of crumbs, and no desire to move, eat, or shop ever again. We already called all the relatives, the Christmas shows have abruptly stopped running on the television, so now what?

Once again we have here a little lull when nobody expects us to do anything (except the Widge, who does rightfully expect meals, diaper changes, books read, and general parental activities). Don't bother getting out of those jammies, just lay around snacking. Unless, of course, you live at the North Pole, because you guys owe me money. I bought all the gifts, wrapped them, and even labeled about half as being from Santa. I don't mind much, I like you jolly elves as much as the next parent, but if you're going to get half the credit (plus all the cool holiday specials, parades, and celebrity appearances) you could chip in a bit. Either that or give us parents a slice of the fame. I'd like to be beloved by children everywhere, especially if, as it seems, there isn't much actual work involved. I'd love to be greeted by applause when I show up at IHOP.

Folks, when your parents told you that Santa doesn't exist, they were just cranky because the fat man isn't really much help in the gift process. I'm pretty sure he is real, and hanging out in his fancy castle at the top of the world, laughing at us all, with out puny bank accounts, and our gifts, with his picture on the wrapping paper and his name under "from", hidden in our tiny closets for weeks. I don't think he's a bad guy, but I do think that he, like God, has the sort of humor that we don't usually appreciate, because it tends to be at our expense.

So crack open an ice cold Bud light, oh jelly-bellied icon of holiday cheer, because you not only make the gift process look easy, you manage to give presents all over the world without budging from your comfy fireside chair.

What's the opposite of Exodus?

2007-12-22T11:13:00.000-05:00

Introdus? Thats what's going on now. The hordes are descending upon our peaceful borough just in time for winter festivities. Well, there are really only two of them, but they're large, and seem like a horde.

Nick arrived yesterday, and has once again become the Widge's personal hero. For the next two weeks he (the Widge) will roam around saying: "Neek. Neek neek neek." That is, when he's not saing "Boom!" every time someone mentions turkey. That's because we were watching Mythbusters, and you'll all be happy to know the Widge really seemed interested, but of course they blew up a turkey, so thats certainly going to hold the attention of a small boy.

The last of the gifts arrived and was wrapped yesterday, so we've entered that little gully you fall into just before charging up the hill of Christmastide. We sent the cards, made the pirogi and the cookies, decorated the tree, bought the gifts...now what? Here at the Skiphaus, we get to celebrate the anniversary of our graduation, which I did by watching my favorite movie from my college days: Fight Club. Its been at least 5 years since I saw it, but it's still good. Shockingly, I was only 18 when I first saw that in theaters. Gee whiz, I'm old!

Anyway, I say, enjoy this little bit before Christmas, the last few days before that pile of wrapping paper and toy bits appears in the living room, before cookie crumbs and sad shreds of ham are all that remains of the glorious feast. Although I remember many wonderful Christmases, I don't recall the food (unless it was terrible: I remember a peanut soup that I hated), and I don't necessarily remember the gifts, although one year I got a doll I had wished for. What I remember, year after year, is the warm, happy feeling of lounging around, with that glorious, glowing tree, and the anticipation of the gifts, the cookies, the food. So folks, don't sweat it, let a few things slide, and just put your feet up, enjoy your decorations, read the sweet Christmas messages your friends and relatives are sending, and be happy that its Christmastide.